Comments on: Zillion Dollar Idea #836

By: solo

solo — Fri, 09 Apr 2004 03:52:59 +0000

personally i couldn’t imagine using one. if you used one, wouldn’t you want to grab your crotch and moonwalk?

By: JB

JB — Sat, 13 Mar 2004 01:40:40 +0000

Krusty, the thought of you blowing snot all over yourself just makes my day. Thanks for that. I’m sorry, snot gloves are a ridiculous idea. Snot sleeves on the other hand, brilliant!

By: Krusty

Krusty — Thu, 04 Mar 2004 18:06:55 +0000

I have to pop in to share my disapointment with the zillionaires ridiculous need for snot removal equipment. After all I thought I had taught you better. The true renaissance man needs only one technique to have a clear and snot free sniffer. Once you have mastered the plug and fire all commercial products become obselete. The trick is plugging one nostril filling your lungs with air and then forcing that air out the open nostril. It sounds easier than it is. Many hours of practice will lead you to realize that focusing on trying to expell your brain matter along with the snot really will give you the right level of force needed. Now don’t get discouraged if you have a few messy misfires, that is natural. Keep pushing forward and soon your hands will never again be burdened with nose goo. All of the extra money you save can go directly to reseaching zillionaire idea # 837 (automatic beer retrival system).

By: CK

CK — Wed, 03 Mar 2004 05:16:36 +0000

I’d also like to congratulate the internet zillionaires on their 1-month anniversary. Good job, folks.

Also, does anyone else miss b.dazzle. I get all teary-eyed when I think about him. (or her, but seriously, its gotta be a him)

By: CK

CK — Wed, 03 Mar 2004 05:11:13 +0000

While zillion dollar idea #836 is loads better than that paltry zillion dollar idea #447, I think you’re missing out on a larger issue here. Regardless of the ring that “toilet paper gloves” (I originally spelled that toiley paper gloves and I especially like the sound of that) may have, if I’m not mistaken there’s an entire industry out there devoted to a better product for such an occasion. Its called facial tissue, or Kleenex, if you’re into one of those brand name sniffers. To me toilet paper gloves is merely a billion dollar idea whereas Kleenex brand Schnoz Wiper Mittens is the actual zillion dollar winner.
Who’s with me here?
Mittens are “somuchbetta” as they say someplace. “Who says that?” you may ask, and to that I shout, “People who buy Kleenex brand Schnoz Wiper Mittens, that’s who!!”

Pardon me as I clear my throat.
Eh-Eh.
Thank you.
However, it really isn’t for me to question the true internet zillionaires. I have mere internet trillions to my credit (see tagline at bottom) therefore, my opinion obviously counts for less. So, I report, you decide.

In conclusion, (which I must say, DA was severely lacking in some sort of finale on this one. Wrap it up, kid!) in my humble but absolutely 100% correct opinion: toilet paper gloves=billion dollar idea
toiley paper gloves=trillion dollar idea
Kleenex brand Schnox Wiper Mittens=priceless

Did I cheeze out at the end too much?

By: Internet Zillionaire » Reese’s S’more

Internet Zillionaire » Reese’s S’more — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

[...] s” for some time, but I had abstained for three reasons: 1. How do you top “toilet paper gloves?” (On a side note, while this is an ingen [...]