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June 19th, 2004

What’s Got Billy So Spooked?

by The Centaur

In an attempt to have a unique and creative ceremony, I really wanted to have live crab present at the wedding. Not because it is a delicacy, but because of the theatrical opportunities. Anytime a live crab is available, I like to hold it against my face and do an impression of the alien from the movie “Predator.” Specifically, I like to re-enact the scene where the alien takes off his helmet and growls hauntingly at Dutch (Arnold Schwartzenegger.) With the crab’s writhing legs functioning as the mouth tentacles of the alien, this impression is nearly dead-on.

This particular scene is the climax of the movie, where Dutch comes face to face for the first time with the alien hunter that has slaughtered his platoon. It is a very powerful moment, as the alien and Schwartzenegger, individuals literally from two different worlds, demonstrate an unspoken, mutual respect toward each other.

Of course, this kind of symbolism transcends a movie screen, and it could be easily integrated into a wedding ceremony. Think about it, instead of played-out traditions like “unity candles” and “wedding vows,” my fiancĂ© and I could perform a special scene from Predator to demonstrate our respect for each other. I can’t fathom anything more romantic than that…

Also, this scene has great personal meaning. My future in-laws have witnessed the live-crab-on-my-face spectacle countless times, and each time I am greeted with increasingly worried expressions. This has actually become somewhat of a tradition with my in-laws, as I have never missed an opportunity to put a crab on my face in their presence. Honestly, at this point, it almost seems odd to not somehow incorporate a crab into the ceremony. Next Saturday, I guarantee when me, my fiancĂ©, and a crab stand together at the altar, there won’t be a dry eye in the house.

More to come…

One Response to “What’s Got Billy So Spooked?”

JA
06/23/2004

My mom is actually out right now ‘fixing’ the fuel line on the boat. No boat, no crab. I think she’s fine with me, you and the crab standing together at the alter. It’s the crab on the face trick that is keeping her up at night.

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