Internet Zillionaire

• “The future of books is audio books.” Am I an idiot or are audio books going to”blow up” any minute? It’s only one or the other, not both.
• “Halo is the best game ever released for the Xbox.” First game I played and still the best. Microsoft should be ashamed.
• The Bloated Over-Merchandised Star Wars Franchise® just came out with another pork chop of a video game. This one’s called ‘Ton-Ton Guts and The Rise of the Rebel Snow-Yetti.’ It’s a Mortal Combat-type fighter. The Ton-Ton Guts shoot deadly little frozen Mark Hamill’s at the enemy.” Okay, I never really said this but it will be my canned response whenever someone asks me what I think of “Star Wars” now.
• “How is Matt doing?” He’s good. You know he’s married, right?” I guess Poison was right. Every rose does have it’s thorn.
• “I only like watching TV Shows on DVD’s now. Megan and I will rent a whole season and watch it in a couple nights.” Perk of abandoning network and cable tv that I never expected.
• “Professional basketball is less interesting to watch than professional soccer.” Granted I don’t watch either but I think I could still argue this point effectively.
• “See, buying a condo could be a sweet move.” All the proof anyone ever needed that I’m nearing completion on my goal to be a 100% complete yuppy sellout by the age of thirty.
• “If you are going to buy a computer, buy an Apple laptop.” Just last week I received my official “Apple Zealot” framed certificate that I will put up on my wall in place of my Harvard degree.
• Ohmygod! Two years ago I never would use LOL or LMAO. :) Has iChat reduced anyone else to this instant message gibberish? ROTFLMAO.
• “Burger King® closed down in Bellingham.” Is it fathomable that a huge burger franchise could crumble within my lifetime?

What did I forget?