The only other thing I remember well was that, despite her inability to understand the English language, she fell in love with one particular program then running on television–Three’s Company. Apparently John Ritter and Suzanne Summers are much funnier when you can’t understand what they are saying. It never occurred to me that turning off the sound would have worked wonders.

Krusty’s mention of the luggage hitting the back of his mother-in-law’s head was kind of creepy. I was watching the Discovery Channel the other night and there was a story concerning the famous movie cowboy Tom Mix. He was killed when he ran into a ditch in his 1937 Cord and was struck in the back of the head by a suitcase. So, Krusty, it could have been worse.

Interactions with my in-laws are a bit different. The only difficulty in our relationship is that they simply don’t know how to react to my antics half the time. Since I’ve done this dozens of times, you would think they’d be used to me holding a live, writhing crab against my face and performing scenes from the movie Predator… But instead of laughter, I still find them exchanging nervous glances between them.

Fortunately, after a few years of knowing me, they’ve begun to accept the fact that I like to wear head-to-toe camo whenever I find myself in the outdoors for any period greater than 45 minutes in length…
And that I manage to obtain a violent sunburn at almost every family gathering…
And that I poke fun at my wife almost weekly on this website…
And that I tote around a 14-inch Rambo knife on family camping trips… And that I hide their dog’s chew toys or throw them in tree branches or other places he can’t possibly retrieve them from…

Despite the list above, I’m still golden. So thank you Krusty… For it is because of your high jinks, that lackluster sons-in-law across the country actually look pretty damn unreal in comparison…