Comments on: Naming A Future Zillionaire

By: Billie

Billie — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 05:00:53 +0000

Ahem…. My husband and I are expecting our first in a about four months,… a son whose name WILL be James Magnum. It has been a very polarizing name with the family members to be sure, but I personally wanted a strong manly name for my son to fill. He won’t be little forever, and a name like Magnum tends to be unforgettable. Only older people like us will connect with Magnum PI. His peers won’t have clue unless they are glued to the boob tube of syndicated shows and/or their mothers are secretly harboring hidden yearnings for the mustachioed prince of the Hawaiian Iles. On a footnote, I still couldn’t help but giggle uncontrollably at your remarks on the other name selections….

By: Ryan

Ryan — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 20:14:50 +0000

I suppose Doc is out of the question…?

I mean, he’s the one with the infamous line “I’m your huckleberry! Why johnny ringo, you look like someone just walked over your grave!”

By: Jeannette

Jeannette — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 17:20:33 +0000

How about we stay away from the crazy names and go for something a little more normal. This kid is going to have an uphill battle in life anyways with his crazy long legs and super fair skin. How about we don’t make things worse for it by naming it after an 80s tv show character ah? ie Hannibal and Thomas Magnum are out. Cash Money, Lancelot, and Pete Jr. are still in the running though. I don’t know what Xerxes means but its in the running too.

By: Peteosaurus

Peteosaurus — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 15:30:31 +0000

I have always liked the sound of Pete Jr. You are welcome to use it if you like.

By: The Centaur

The Centaur — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 03:59:40 +0000

Here’s another, for a boy:

Hannibal: This kind of name will invariably become a great leader. At the end of every episode of the A-team, you knew who was keeping those soldiers of fortune functioning cohesively. All those plans don’t come together by themselves, people!

By: Danielle

Danielle — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 02:32:11 +0000

Yes, Matt, I seem to recall being ordered by your wife to NOT refer to he/she as “Cletus”. Brenda’s request for “Womb Goblin” recieved approval shortly thereafter. No matter, though. I suppose we will have to leave your naming conventions, whatever they end up being, in your shaky hands and hope for the best. Fingers crossed…

By: brenda

brenda — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 01:05:39 +0000

No credit to me on “Cletus the Fetus” or “Womb Goblin” huh Matt? Apparently Oktoberfest weekend was a blur to you when those names were introduced. I like your style.

By: The Captive Lion

The Captive Lion — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 22:21:55 +0000

For the sake of the child, I beg all those who read this to contribute just one suggestion. Seriously, you can’t do any worse than what’s on here. The Centaur learned all he knows about naming from the song Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash.

Makes me think it might be time to dust off that piece of legislation I had drafted up so long ago — the Cabbage Patch Law — where all newborns are named right at the factory. There is no choice in the matter.

But if the legal system fails as is prone to happen, here are my Plan B name offerings:

Something with majesty: Lion-O
Something pulp sci-fi: Galax Pollimer
Something noble: Lancelot
Something that will strike terror into the hearts of others: Bloodlust
Something nerdy: Super Class A Hacker

By the way, all of these work for any gender. Sadly I don’t think I hit upon the magic name just yet. Note to wheels: keep grinding.

By: Dave Munger

Dave Munger — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 12:51:30 +0000

re: a girl’s name. For some reason, I could never get my wife to agree to Clytaemnestra. Perhaps your wife will be more amenable.

I’ve always been partial to Xerxes for boys, but again, I’ve had difficulty convincing the wife of the utility of such a name — even though, as it turned out, we would have been able to sue XM satellite radio for trademark violation.