“Son, when you get to the hotel room…Call me”

Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,

“Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?”

“O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me”

A few moments later…

“Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?”

O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then… Ah, call me.”

A few moments later…

“DAD! WE TOOK OFF OUR CLOTHES, GOT IN THE BED AND MOVED REAL CLOSE, WHAT DO I DO???”

“O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom.”

A few moments later…

“Dad, I’ve got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?”

Look, Wrinkleheimer, you better have a good excuse as to why this blog isn’t updated yet with a Superbowl prediction. I want a new column posted asap, you hear me! There are plenty of other slack-jawed heiny-ho’s that can work a typewriter. You are replaceable Wrinkleheimer!

A morning rant from Wrinkleheimer’s boss, the angry Mr. Rumpleforeskin.

Pittsburgh–I wish you luck. But i gotta be real. I don’t really mean it. I really hope seattle doesn’t only win, but we crush them. I want to win by 37.

Something else I was thinking about…here’s a bad case scenerio: Ben Rothisberger gets hurt and goes out for the game. Then we go on to win the game. If this scenerio happens everyone is going to be saying we can only win a superbowl when the other team isn’t there. That would be ultimately sucky. I would rather take a loss than that. I would rather take a good effort and going down gracefully, than “winning by default”.

But in any case, I have the spikes on my shoulder already and will be tackling everyone in site when we score a touchdown.

Have fun today, and be safe!

Ryan

It’s probably gonna rain Sunday (what else is new), but the beer will be dark and locally brewed, and flowing out of taps and kegs from Boise to Bellingham.

The jerseys, from old-school with Largent’s No. 80 to brand-new with Shaun Alexander’s 37, will be blue and white and trimmed in green.

That fierce, beady-eyed bird will be everywhere.

But, seriously, how can this moment possible vindicate all those Dave Krieg years? You can’t just have 10 years of your life back you know! Just kidding. Loved it all around.

Check out this link.

Apparently, some fans in Pittsburgh have taken a liking our Seahawk commentary.

http://asap.ap.org/stories/340690.s

Go Hawks!

First, a little background: The Captive Lion has been contemplating a name change almost since Day 1. Unfortunately, he’s already embroidered “CL” on his underwear and luggage and even had monogrammed stationary made. It would be too wasteful and time-consuming to fix all of this. If anything, expect a name change like “The Cleaning Lady” or “The Clumsy Lover”… just to keep the initials intact.

Also, your comments on wings are right on point. I can’t think of a food that is more labor-intensive to eat and has a higher degree of messiness for such a small amount of meat.

Fresh seafood, that you have to crack and clean before eating is the only other close comparison. I suppose, anytime they give you wet-wipes with your meal at a restaurant, you pretty much know what you’re in for.

I have a feeling already the commentary on Sunday will be fantastic.

I too will make a prediction, but I’ll hold off for a day or two. There are lots of strip clubs and handguns in Detroit, and frankly anything can happen in the next few days. Let us not forget the lessons of Ken Hamlin and Eugene Robinson.

So, feel free to take your time. Just be sure to submit a prediction before game time.

Instead, the wife and I will be going to Southern California to watch the game with a bunch of Steelers fans.

Yes, I’ll be going into enemy territory, but the mission will be worth it when Josh Brown makes like Adam Vinatieri.

Seahawks 26, Steelers 23.