February 5th, 2006

The Super Blog

by The Centaur

I’m in unchartered territory. The Seahawks are in the Super Bowl for the first time in their franshise history, and I am utterly unprepared for the event.

What should I paint on my chest? Sure, a phrase like “Go ‘Hawks!” might suffice in the regular season, but this is the Super Bowl. It seems like I almost need to get a tattoo or something.

What do I drink? Beer is a safe choice, but maybe I should bust out the bottle of top shelf gin I’ve been hiding from guests and saving for the proverbial Special Occasion.

And what if they win? How do I comport myself? I’ve never been in the position to celebrate a championship of any kind. Obviously, I need to push my couch into the middle of the street and light it on fire. Then, I suppose I am expected to head downtown and riot with the rest of the hardcore fans. Then what? Topple police cruisers? I wish they made a guidebook for novice sports hooligans.

I guess I’ll deal with these issues as the game progresses. One other note, I spent Super Bowl Eve thinking about the game, hanging my stocking, and formulating a prediction. Here it is: Seahawks 27, Steelers 17. That’s right, a ten point spread. And the MVP: Joe Jurevicious. 6 receptions, 2 touchdowns, 114 yards receiving.

So here we go. It’s noon, the game is three and a half hours away. Like the NFC championship game, I’ll be updating this post continually throughout the day. Let’s just hope the game and this blog live up to the hype.

94 Responses to “The Super Blog”

Booth
02/05/2006

Centaur, you have gained a keen eye for the game in your MVP choice. I too believe Jurevicius will have a big game, especially since the 3-4 defense is designed in part to take away the tight end. Therefore a three receiver set lends itself to matchup advantages for the offense.

At the same time, there is always this sinking feeling in the back of my head that Pittsburgh is going to turn this game into a blowout.

No matter the outcome i’ll probably be crying in the end – either into my beer, or out of utter disbelief that the bumbling Seachickens are Super Bowl champs.

Go Hawks!

The Centaur
02/05/2006

One hour til game time.

I’ve set up shop in the Zillionaire’s Lounge, the bar I crafted in my basement for just such an event. Needless to say, having a bar in your basement is great, especially when you’re a raging alcoholic.

Obviously, we’ve got the food and drinks covered. I just wish I had one of those tubular urine bags that truckers use, so that I could sit in one position all afternoon without having to bother walking to the bathroom.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Perhaps the only underrated aspect of the Super Bowl being hosted in Detroit: The Motown Music.

If they reunited the Commodores on stage for a rendition of “Night Shift” and the Seahawks won…

We’d officially have the Unrealest Day Ever.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Just cracked open the first beer of the day. A Red Hook ESB.

Once the game starts, I’ll shift to Bud and Bud Light… just to have a makeshift Bud Bowl in my liver.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I can tell in the first four notes: Aaron Neville and Aretha will produce an eight-minute rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I’m loving the comment section thus far. I’m basically just instant messaging myself here.

The Captive Lion
02/05/2006

Shaved the first hair off of a margarita over here. Solo is spasming with anticipation.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Coin toss time: Tails.

Yeah. That’s right. See that Pittsburgh? That’s how you call a coin toss.

Please don’t let this be our only opportunity to trash talk.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

A few first downs on the opening drive, and Seattle has to punt. We completely wasted the momentum of the coin toss.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Still no score in the game.

Here’s the score on the alcohol front: I’m on beer #2, Henry Weinhard’s Blue Boar Pale Ale.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Pass interference on the Seahawks, negating a touchdown. So standard.

No other franchise would have that call go against them.

solo
02/05/2006

i’ve already broke a whole jar of el paso taco sauce due to anticipation. my girlfriend hates me cause i can’t stop yelling. i’m mad pissed they called that pass interference. oh yes, i’m feeling nice.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

I agree with Centaur with the spread but I think Jackson will be mvp.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

ken says the refs are using yellow flags and wearing black stripes, coincidence?

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Cheryl’s F-Bomb Count: 1

The Centaur
02/05/2006

3-0, Seattle at this pt.

I won $2 in the first quarter pool… looks like I’ve got a visit to a value menu in my future.

Starting Beer 3, another Red Hook. If I’m going to be drunk and disorderly tonight, the foundation must be laid early.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Bettis is morbidly obese. He goes in for two plays, then right to the sideline for the defribrilator.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Interception!!!

Michael Boulware, if you ever need a kidney or bone marrow… you call me.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

It was just revealed that Marquand Manuel is getting his groin taped.

I hope they don’t have to wrap his groin in a cast.

panda
02/05/2006

1st half beer score: MR 3 Panda 5
This could be a blowout….

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Can I get an updated f-bomb count from everyone?

I’m at a baker’s dozen.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Imaginary touchdown by Pittsburgh.

Anyone want to wager that it will stand, while an actual touchdown by Seattle is reversed?

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Referee #28 was bornin Pittsburgh

The Centaur
02/05/2006

7-3, Pittsburgh.

The only bright side is that I’m positioned to win the second quarter pool as well.

As they say, the house always wins.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Who is this Number 28? He’s the best Pittsburg has- He plays both offense and defense for Pittsburg.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Halftime:

How did the Rolling Stones get cleared out of the nursing home?

Is it possible to be a rock star with zero sex appeal?

Cross Household
02/05/2006

All we can say right now is FUCK!!!!!

The Captive Lion
02/05/2006

If we all think win, it will happen. We have to envision it. We have to embrace it, not fear it. Let’s do a kinetic mind experiment.

Seriously, I love being the underdog.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Cheryl F-Bomb Count: 4

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Unreal.

The tide has turned, until the officials overturn this call.

solo
02/05/2006

i almost broke another glass on that interception. now i’m really getting hammered.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Btw, I’m a tremendous frontrunner.

The frequency of updates on this post will be dictated by the Seahawks momentum.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I just did a shot of Cabana Boy, as a tribute to the Seahawks narrowing the gap.

Sorry Seahawks, if you want me to take a man shot, you’ll have to take the lead.

panda
02/05/2006

For my sisters sake I hope you dont want to take a “man shot” But regardless I hope the hawks keep it going.

Beer count, MR 5 Panda 9

Cross Household
02/05/2006

I smell a comeback or is it just Ken?

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Alright, it’s 14-10, Pitt.

I’m now drinking Bombay Sapphire.

Stevens scored a td, but he’s had three crucial drops. We should see if the Patriots will trade the Diet Pepsi machine for him.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Btw, the f-bomb count from my mom is likely understated, if anything.

She turns into a drunken sailor at Seahawks games.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Third qtr just ended, Pitt 14-10.

Panda is collecting on the pool this quarter.

Seahawks have the ball, with momentum. 16 minutes to determine whether I’ll be despondent, or setting police cruisers on fire tonight.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Matt, are you calling me out in the middle of a game? A drunken sailor? I’m more like a slightly inebriated Sea Gal, minus the big boobs. (I am wearing my lucky SeaHawk earrings right now, who else can claim that?)
P.S Can we bring back Steve Largent?

Cross Household
02/05/2006

The F-Bomb takes on new meaning while it spews from cheryl’s mouth along with a mouth full of whiskey and coke!

The Centaur
02/05/2006

The Seahawks are absolutely getting shafted by the “officials.”

I can’t stand it. This is the most eggregiously one-sided officiating I’ve ever seen.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

NFL: No Fairness League

ryan
02/05/2006

COrrupt…is all i gotta say… Illegal Block when we are on defense?

The Centaur
02/05/2006

For a football team that supposedly plays hard nose, smash-mouth football…

The Steelers rely entirely on trick plays.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Why aren’t they calling a penalty on the Steelers for having 12-13 players on the field on every play?

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Dammmit. I just missed the MacGyver commercial.

I was actually looking forward to this.

Jeannette
02/05/2006

Matt’s in the fetal position in the corner right now…

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Cheryl’s F-Bomb Count: 78

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I’m officially wasted, unless the call is reversed by the referrees, and they rule that I’m sober.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I’m pleased to post the 50th comment on this post:

I think the Seahawks still have a chance.

I juste wish they could put the Burger King or The Freezer in the backfield.

ryan
02/05/2006

Seahawks are playing against 15, not 11.

The Captive Lion
02/05/2006

I call fourth time you’ve made the Burger King joke. Either your hammered or getting paid.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

My vote for the Super Bowl MVP:

Bill Leavy, official #28.
He made the most plays for Pittsburgh.

Panda
02/05/2006

Fluid count:
MR: 5 beers, a cabana boy, and a gin and tonic(make that a double)
Panda: 10 beers a cabana boy and counting…..
JR 1/2 gallon of apple juice
VA: enough water to float a dingy
Mathias: 4 beers and a cabana boy

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I think another shot is in order:

Zillionaires, let’s raise our glasses to near unrealness.

Panda, pour us another round of suntan-lotions-tasting Cabana Boy.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Attn: All my friends in Seattle

Regardless of the outcome, I still expect to see news footage of you rioting in downtown Seattle, with the obligatory overturning of a police cruiser.

And yes, I’ll unabashedly continue using Burger King and Police cruiser jokes at this point.

Panda
02/05/2006

Don’t let Matt’s posts fool you. His face paint is starting to smear from his tears.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

FYI:

I’m at the point where I’m curious as to how many comments we can register on this post.

Let’s set the bar high… let’s top 70 comments.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

2 minutes to go:

Seahawks need a TD, two point conversion, onside kick recovery, and then antother FG.

Sadly, the Seahawks have missed two FG, and had a TD negated.

The Captive Lion
02/05/2006

Life sucks. At least I’ve grown accustomed to it.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Dear Pittsburgh,

You won. Not convincingly, and certainly not fairly.

Enjoy it as best you can.

The Centaur

Cross Household
02/05/2006

#28 has just been named the most valuble player,I hope he enjoys his new cadilac

The Centaur
02/05/2006

This is more proof that God reads Internet Zillionaire.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Cheryl F bomb count is 20 and climbing

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I can’t wait to cheer for the Seahawks in their next Superbowl appearance, in 2084.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Being called the Seachickens is now so appropriate

solop
02/05/2006

yup, everybody get back to normal life. we’re not that sweet. never were, never will be. oh well, this proves there is a god. thank you for doing the usual. this is what me and mcsex used to refer to as, “standard.” is that really the usual boring monday coming tomorrow, oh, wait, yup. enjoy your non-winning life.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I hate Pittsburgh. Seriously.

I had a lay-over there one time. Your airport sucked.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Holmgren deserves a quick kick in the nuts!

solo
02/05/2006

btw, i’m glad that

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Ken and Cheryl are crying. Ken has shredded his Hasselbeck jersey I just bought him for 80$.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Katie and I are calling in sick tomorrow!

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Best derogatory name for Hasslebeck?

Hasslesack? Hasslecrack? Hasslebrokeback?

Submit your votes.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Cheryl jinxed us with her stupid Seahawk earings.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Go wait in the car Jeannette

solo
02/05/2006

oh wait, never mind, there’s really nothing to be glad for.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Is Mcsex Ring Jr. kicking in anger right now?

Jeannette
02/05/2006

Mcsex Ring Sr. is kicking in anger right now.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

I still feel like rioting… who’s with me?

I have a baseball bat, cherry bombs, Roman candles and I’m impervious to pain right now.

Oh, and I’ve got some rage I want to deal with unhealthily.

Again, who’s with me?

Booth
02/05/2006

This will be the basis of my column tomorrow, but i must say i’m glad to be a journalist now. I forgot how difficult it is to be a fan. Today, I was an emotional wreck, changing back and forth on drinks of choice, sitting positions, swearing, depending on the ebb and flow of the game.

Bill Levy and his officiating crew were brutal. A questionable offensive interference call on Jackson; a questionable TD by Rothlesberger; a phantom holding call on Sean Locklear erasing Stevens catch to the 1.

BRUTAL!

But, it so Seattle. Once again a team teases with our emotions only to leave us crying in our beer (which I am doing at this moment).

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Alright, I’ll gratuitously post the 80th comment on this post:

I hope they let Alexander go. He was unspectacular when it really mattered.

The Centaur
02/05/2006

Dammit, why did I shave the Seahawks logo into my hair?

I’m gonna look stupid at hell (work) tomorrow.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

Jeannette, you’ll be happy to hear that Cage has been banished from the computer.

I remember several hours ago, when all I hoped for was for Seattle to just not embarrass themselves, then just score some points, then a field goal, then a touchdown. Somehow, it all gets away from you, and then you’ll thinking the unbelievable will happen, and Seattle will win. We were so close……

Cross Household
02/05/2006

I can hardly see straight, let alone type I am so pissed off. I am going to do four shots of whiskey as soon as i am done typing this.

Cross Household
02/05/2006

MatT Katie and I are talking about going for a ski trip yhis next weekend.

Double Crossed
02/05/2006

We arte all so smashed. Cheryl is just now finally stopping her crying!

Double Crossed
02/05/2006

My boss just called and said we disdn’t have to come to work till 10.

Double-Crossed
02/05/2006

Will someone please e-mail Bill O’Reilly, we have just suffered another injustice someone has to be looking after us. Have him interview the refs and the TV announcers; I want him to stop thier spin on the game.

Ryan
02/05/2006

matt. I am in for rioting. Let’s start with a trip to NFL’s head office.

Double Crossed
02/05/2006

Katie and I just set fire to our neighbor’s 78 ford truck!

The Centaur
02/06/2006

Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know I was released from the hospital this morning. I had to get 280 stitches for headbutting through the glass of my TV last night. Thankfully I was so drunk and full of rage I didn’t feel anything.

Thanks to everyone who sent cards and flowers.

Ryan
02/06/2006

Glad to hear you are doing well.

Maybe you can come visit me at Shady Acres. Josh brown is in the next room over. I keep hearing him say “The laces were IN”. Man that guy is crazy. But I am looking forward to the next month because the great nostradamus is coming to visit me and we are going on a cruise! I can’t wait!

The Centaur
02/07/2006

One final comment and then we’ll put this to bed:

Booth sent over this link.

Disappointingly, he takes the high road in this piece.

I, on the other hand, rummaged around my garage last night until I located a pitchfork and lantern. If anyone else is up for forming an angry mob and marching to Pittsburgh, let me know.

Dave
12/07/2006

I have to say you have a great blog, i really enjoy reading it, i have bookmarked it so i can find it back

Keep up the good work

Greets
Dave

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