Internet Zillionaire

When you cast your ballots this Tuesday, I ask that you please vote in support of my wife. She is a hard-worker. She is responsible. And she needs your vote to become Spokane County Auditor.

And, she would definitely appreciate your vote for District Court Judge, position 4.

And finally, please also consider her for the 9th Legislative District House Seat #2.

Ok, technically, she isn’t knowingly running for any of those offices. When I filled out my absentee ballot today, I noticed there were a handful of races that were either unopposed or featured candidates that I had never heard of. So, I decided to list my wife as a write-in candidate for those positions.

But then, when I actually had to mark my vote, I determined that she was too inexperienced and generally unqualified to hold office. And thusly, I voted against her in all three races.

In a few days, the results will come out, and my wife will be the first ever write-in candidate to not even get the vote of the person that wrote her in. And, she’ll likely finish dead last in three different races, with a grand total of zero votes. Clearly, she needs your support.

I feel bad for her, but I made the right decision. In each race, I voted for the best candidate. I’m proud to say that I voted my conscience, and didn’t let any personal feelings get in the way. This is how our democracy is supposed to function.