Comments on: Internal Monologue While Cooking For One http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/ Funny with a lot of zeros involved. Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:57:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Freud's Slip http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39873 Freud's Slip Thu, 26 Apr 2007 00:04:26 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39873 My internal monologue: There seems to be some unpleasant sensation coming from the general vicinity of my stomach. I will consume two spoonfuls of peanut butter and this can of green beans. Problem solved. My internal monologue:

There seems to be some unpleasant sensation coming from the general vicinity of my stomach.
I will consume two spoonfuls of peanut butter and this can of green beans.
Problem solved.

]]> By: The Captive Lion http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39837 The Captive Lion Wed, 25 Apr 2007 14:40:01 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39837 <strong>To clarify:</strong> Pat Malone is not me. He is a fictional character. I have never eaten a pizza boat in my life. And no one in their right mind would ever drink a Rummy D. <strong>To elaborate:</strong> Let's flesh this TV show and fictional character out a bit as I feel some have gotten on the wrong track. To me, there is a just a wisp of desperation in Pat's demeanor. He's really trying his best to hold it all together but, occasionally, he subtlely breaks. It might be the way his voice cracks when speaking for the first time in hours, the ferocity with which the mozzarella gets grated for the pizza boat, or the gleam of a tear in his eye when he signs off each episode. The closing is solemn, not disgusting. It's isolating, not degrading. But yes, he eats it alone, with no manners or napkin. There is no conversation except the internal monologue running in his mind that always seems to happen when cooking for one. To clarify:

Pat Malone is not me.

He is a fictional character.

I have never eaten a pizza boat in my life.

And no one in their right mind would ever drink a Rummy D.

To elaborate:
Let’s flesh this TV show and fictional character out a bit as I feel some have gotten on the wrong track.

To me, there is a just a wisp of desperation in Pat’s demeanor. He’s really trying his best to hold it all together but, occasionally, he subtlely breaks. It might be the way his voice cracks when speaking for the first time in hours, the ferocity with which the mozzarella gets grated for the pizza boat, or the gleam of a tear in his eye when he signs off each episode. The closing is solemn, not disgusting. It’s isolating, not degrading.

But yes, he eats it alone, with no manners or napkin. There is no conversation except the internal monologue running in his mind that always seems to happen when cooking for one.

]]> By: solo http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39706 solo Tue, 24 Apr 2007 05:17:00 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39706 sounds like a danny bonaduce episode. sounds like a danny bonaduce episode.

]]> By: dadeo http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39673 dadeo Mon, 23 Apr 2007 22:35:32 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39673 I want to know the depths you have sunk to; are you cooking the pizza boats in the oven or in the new microwave? I want to know the depths you have sunk to; are you cooking the pizza boats in the oven or in the new microwave?

]]> By: Bailes http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39505 Bailes Sat, 21 Apr 2007 20:23:28 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39505 Here's another good drink concoction that Dennis and I came up with in high school... 1 bottle jose cuervo gold 2 cups tang dry mix 2 32 oz cups pour tang in cup, fill rest of cup with tequila. oh yeah, that one will put hair on your ass. makes me puke in my mouth a little just thinking about it. I'll have to try the rummy D sometime. The show sounds good and I like the idea of showing Pat Malone eating the pizza boat in silence after it is done. he should be wearing a gray sweatsuit with ass crack showing a little, like the waiter on road trip that put the french toast in his pants. pat should also fart a little while eating the pizza boat... that would be perfect. Here’s another good drink concoction that Dennis and I came up with in high school…

1 bottle jose cuervo gold
2 cups tang dry mix
2 32 oz cups

pour tang in cup, fill rest of cup with tequila. oh yeah, that one will put hair on your ass. makes me puke in my mouth a little just thinking about it.

I’ll have to try the rummy D sometime. The show sounds good and I like the idea of showing Pat Malone eating the pizza boat in silence after it is done. he should be wearing a gray sweatsuit with ass crack showing a little, like the waiter on road trip that put the french toast in his pants. pat should also fart a little while eating the pizza boat… that would be perfect.

]]> By: Brin http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39478 Brin Sat, 21 Apr 2007 11:00:09 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39478 Once upon a time, in a college town far far away, a friend and I spent about a month one summer experimenting with rum and Sunny D; depending on the ratios (we only managed to get as high as half and half), you will either get a buzz, or run topless through the apartment complex parking lot. Once upon a time, in a college town far far away, a friend and I spent about a month one summer experimenting with rum and Sunny D; depending on the ratios (we only managed to get as high as half and half), you will either get a buzz, or run topless through the apartment complex parking lot.

]]> By: Krusty http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39436 Krusty Fri, 20 Apr 2007 18:59:55 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39436 I must say that a Rummy D sounds disguting and may actually be the reason that Pat Malone is a single guy. I must say that a Rummy D sounds disguting and may actually be the reason that Pat Malone is a single guy.

]]> By: The Centaur http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39314 The Centaur Wed, 18 Apr 2007 20:26:19 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39314 This show actually sounds fantastic. I would seriously watch it just for the closing segment and the dozen or so eHarmony and 24 Hour Fitness commercials that would be featured throughout. Also, one suggestion: The credits need to roll over footage of Pat Malone wolfing down the pizza boat, alone, in the background... He has no need for napkins or manners. There's no dinner conversation or pauses of any kind. Just Pat eating a pizza boat in a seat in front of the TV. This show actually sounds fantastic. I would seriously watch it just for the closing segment and the dozen or so eHarmony and 24 Hour Fitness commercials that would be featured throughout.

Also, one suggestion: The credits need to roll over footage of Pat Malone wolfing down the pizza boat, alone, in the background… He has no need for napkins or manners. There’s no dinner conversation or pauses of any kind. Just Pat eating a pizza boat in a seat in front of the TV.

]]> By: Shizworth http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/comment-page-1/#comment-39313 Shizworth Wed, 18 Apr 2007 20:10:14 +0000 http://internetzillionaire.com/2007/04/internal-monologue-while-cooking-for-one/#comment-39313 Dear Pat, Love the show! Pizza boats carried me through high school, but you ought to try my Santa Fe Mac & Cheese– classic college food, not for the faint of heart: – 1 box of Kraft Mac & Cheese – Set aside Kraft cheese mix and add Tostitos Salsa Con Queso cheese dip -or- get crazy and mix the two Cheers, Larry Toppleberry Topeka, Kansas Dear Pat,

Love the show! Pizza boats carried me through high school, but you ought to try my Santa Fe Mac & Cheese– classic college food, not for the faint of heart:

– 1 box of Kraft Mac & Cheese
– Set aside Kraft cheese mix and add Tostitos Salsa Con Queso cheese dip -or- get crazy and mix the two

Cheers,
Larry Toppleberry
Topeka, Kansas

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