Comments on: Having a Zillionairette

By: Shizworth

Shizworth — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:10:08 +0000

Bravo! Worthy of a standing ovulation. Dammit, no wonder I no longer write for SNL. Regardless, my branding strategy for being the last to hear about any news is paying off handsomely. Congrats! Could be worse. You could have Doublemint twins.

By: michael

michael — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 04:12:32 +0000

Now if you only had a summer outfit for a 9-month old girl. . . .

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 20:31:20 +0000

I’m a little late to the mix but I’m sorry to hear that you only needed two shots to seal the deal this time. In my experience, I’ve realized that when it’s time to talk about child number two, all the pregnancy planning and anticipation goes out the window. There’s no six months of charting monthly cycles, taking temperatures, peeing on ovulation sticks, etc. so that when it’s finally time to do the deed it only takes one immaculately timed and aimed shot. Instead, the second attempt to get pregnant normally takes months of false starts and holding penalties, coupled with the occassional unnecessary roughness (if you know what I’m shaying!)

Anyway, all I’m saying is that sometimes the fringe benefits of not conceiving right away outweigh the perceived lack of manliness that occurs when multiple shots are needed. Alas, no luck for you (much like myself)

I am now on the cusp of learning whether I need to deal with an infusion of princesses or if I can count on molding another boy into a mirror-image of me (scrawny, unathletic, and sarcastic as hell.) We should learn the sex of baby number two on Thursday, so send some good wishes please.

By: Krusty

Krusty — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 20:52:11 +0000

Bravo, I pray to go that Charlie asserts his alpha male position right away. Soon after birth Charlie will need to have some one on one time so that he can let her know who is in charge.

By: Katie

Katie — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 19:54:24 +0000

I agree that you offer up wayyyyy too much information in your last paragraph. I certainly didn’t need to know that it took you two shots to impregnate Jnet. Don’t you realize that your family members (and hers too) read this? Ewwww
And for the record, they were real homeruns, not singles with errors by the fielders- thank you very much!

By: Booth

Booth — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 18:11:38 +0000

Much like Solo, I shuddered reading that final paragraph.

So, Centaur, how many days apart are you and your sister? And how many days apart will Charlie and yet-to-be-named female fetus be?

You are your parents.

By: Alyssa

Alyssa — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 18:13:45 +0000

Congrats to you guys! As you are well aware, I have been eagerly waiting to go on a pink baby clothes shopping spree, so I am very thankful that (according to the last paragraph) your aim did whatever it did and you ended up with a girl! :)

By: Gabe

Gabe — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:46:10 +0000

Congrats dude! (And Jeannette too of course)

I remember when we found out Avery was going to be a girl, and I wondered what it was I’d actually do with a girl. And since number two was also a girl, I now end up wondering what I’d do with a boy.

A few things I’ve learned in 4.5 years with girls:
1) It’s never too early to worry about boys. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just going to kill the first one that shows up at the house. Hopefully that sends the right message.
2) Train her to like sports. Not only does she enjoy watching baseball, football, basketball, and racing on TV, but she also has a cannon. We’ll have to see how it pans out down the road but there’s always hope. In any case mom is less likely to get mad at dad for watching the game when the kids are watching too.
3) Think princesses. While right now there’s plenty of room for Star Wars stuff all over the house, be prepared to have that territory infringed upon by Ariel, Cinderella, Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Barbie as Genevieve the Dancing Princess.
4) Get used to glitter. It really needs no further explanation.

Have fun!

By: The Captive Lion

The Captive Lion — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:08:12 +0000

She will be a lucky girl. To have a father like you and also an Uncle Fuddyduddy at the same time.

It’s good to know you can count how many shots you’ve fired. You should frame the spent shell casings and put them on display above your mantle at Casa Zillionaire.

By: solo

solo — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 23:15:57 +0000

okay i could’ve easily lived the rest my life without reading the last paragraph. congratulations.