- Nacho Bell
- Bellington Thirst Howl III
- Bling Hamz
- Hamenstein
- Mr. Beldingham
CK get’s all the credit for the obvious winner on that list. We just had a phone conversation about this and he made tears well up in my eyes with Mr. Beldingham. He said it almost reluctantly, not immediatlely grasping its genious, but then when I used it in a sentence we both knew it rolled off the tongue rather nicely.
Me (recreating CK calling me up out of the blue): “So a,.. hey man… how are things up there in Mr. Beldingham?”
[Sidenote: When I said the previous line in conversation with CK I used the voice and character that I have now officially named Chucky Hasbean. Now you all know that I sometimes use voices and or facial/hand gestures to add in a little physical comedy here and there. So now picture the me you know and… forget him. Instead picture me as Chucky Hasbean (aka Chuckles the Dude, aka Chuck-E-Sleaze) who is kind of a washed-up, never grew out of high school parking lots, mindless guy who stumbled in life but who has a heart of fucking gold. That is Chucky and, damn it, picture him instead. ]
So what are the top 5 nicknames of your city?
I think its important that we mention the inspiration behind Mr. Beldingham as being DA’s re-creation of Screech’s stand-up act. DA is one of the few lucky ones that God has chosen to witness such a stunning act of genius, that is the comic stylings of Dustin Diamond.
Since I live in Beaverton, I feel that I might have an unfair advantage for coming up with nicknames:
Beavertown
Town with 700 strip clubs
Really boring town
Town where beavers live
Leave It to Beaverton
I think I might be missing the point of this assignment, but really, how can you top Mr. Beldingham
I actually live in greenpoint, brooklyn, which is part of New York City, so i’ll incorporate all of them. It’s pretty hard to follow Beaverton, you can’t really make too much fun of BK, you might get shot.
1. New York’s Sh!ty
2. G Point
3. Crooklyn
4. Your Brokelyn
5. Dog feces on the sidewalk everywhere you go
Yeah I don’t know how anyone can top Mr. Beldingham, but hey DA, was Dustin in character (as in “Screech”) when he did his stand-up? Talk about a one-trick pony…I don’t think I’ve ever seen him be anything else.
But anyway, I’m going to attempt 5 nicknames for Phoenix (I wish I could drop “Preppyville” or “Bayside” or something like that, since this has a bit of a Saved by the Bell thing going, but I’m not sure that fits)…
1. Little Mexico
2. Land of 700 drive-thru taco stands (we’ve got a multitude of options, Roberto’s, Eribertos, Rolberto’s, Losbeto’s, Pablo’s, etc.)
3. Valley of the Illegal Immigrants
4. Town with more Spanish language than English radio stations
5. Home of the Annual AARP reuinion (held every year from September thru May)
First off, DA, what’s goin’ on here? Do you think you’re playing “The Oregon Trail?” This time, I seriously doubt you’ll be able to convince my mom that Josh Winningham made you type in the f-word. I just hope we can figure out some way for Jennifer Chrismer to get this erased.
Second, I was with DA on that forgettable night seeing Dustin Diamond perform on stage. It was horrible. Dustin’s fatal mistake: Performing as himself instead of as Screech.
Onto nicknames for Spokane:
1. Man Country
2. The Kan (homage to Solo)
3. Spokane’t
4. Studdedtireville
5. The Ponderosa
I think it’s only fair we all come up with five of our home town ellensburg, don’t ya’? Let me begin.
1. The Ponderosa (homage to half our classmates) thanks MR
2. Teacher Stalkers Valley
3. Kittitas County
4. The Horseshoe
5. Wack
More eburg names for the list.
5. NestledintheBosomoftheFertileManashtash (I hope I got that right.)
4. The Pitstop
3. Petersonhaven
2. United States of DeCou
1. White America
A little name-dropping always makes for some fun flashbacks. I heard Chris still lives downtown. Anyone care to confirm? Sounds like a job for the Zillionaire Surveillance Network.
Peterson does in fact (at least as of a couple of months ago) still live downtown, above Sweet Memories. He seems to be avoiding contact lately, but my wife is going up there to visit this week, so consider the Zillionaire Surveillance Network on alert. We will have definitive answers shortly.
A few more Ellensburg nicknames:
1. We can’t forget the classic “The Burg”
2. The Home of CWU (and not much else)
3. Stan Bassett’s Place (did you know he’s MAYOR now???)
4. “ALMOST the State Capital of Washington” (We have a Governor’s mansion and everything, it’s a CASTLE)
5. Hay Capital, USA
By the way, since there’s been some name-dropping of old high school people, if anyone is really missing Richie Kennedy, he works at a climbing wall at a shopping center not 10 minutes from my house. In maybe the most bizarre occurence of my entire life, I ran into him on literally my first trip out of the house. We went to dinner the second night we were here, started walking around this place to check it out, and discovered Richie not 5 minutes later. It’s obvious to see him that he’s way cooler than he used to be, he’s put on a good 30 pounds of muscle and struts around in those tank tops that have arm holes that go down almost to the waist. It’s quite impressive. Needless to say, we hang out like 4 or 5 times a week.
Excellent work Operative Smith. It’s a comfort to know the Zillionaire Surveillance Network has our best agent on this mission.
Does your mother know you used what we call in school “the F word”? Dave, you watch your language, or I’ll have to kick your —(insert the A word).
Dear Mrs. Ring,
Please don’t send me to Principal Jump’s office!
Thank you,
Dave
Need to add:
1. Eburg
2. Hereford Haven
3. Rodeo City
4. Legends of the Frazzini
And from Seattle, my morning commute:
Land O’ 10,000 Traffic Lights.
jc
here are a few not on anyone’s Ellensburg list yet
1. flaming field town
2. the butt-crack of Washington
3. foreign exchange land
4. Ellensville…supposedly the original name
yeah, i don’t have 5, most of the good one’s have made their way out already. but i chose to live in Cashmere, which has a plethora of great nicknames, most of which I can’t share on this PG-13 site.
my favorites are:
1. C-town
2. the ‘shmere
3. illegal alienville
4. wildfire central
oh, and let’s not forget to add Spocompton to the Spokane list…
first let me appologize for having taken so long to respond on this one. I feel strongly that my home town is the king of the terrible nicknames. Let me set a few things up first. I live in a small california town called Cherry Valley. Now we don’t actually have any cherries but we do have an 82% retired citizen population. Having said that let’s go
1. Dependsville
2. Cherry valley “the place where everybody forgets your name.”
3. Levitraburg
4. The easy cherry. (this one actually was said to me by a proud teenage girl local.)
5. 10 mph world
6. Melanoma land. (actually the nickname for most of so-cal.
7. I hate all old people town.
(my personal name.)
I’d like to add some Seattle names…
1. Shitheadland
2. caffeineville
3. protestland
4. screw-your-neighbor burg
5. Little SanFrancisco
I can think of a few more for Seattle, although I’m pretty sure I can’t top “Shitheadland.”
1. Trafficland
2. Land of Everlasting Raininess
3. Overpricedville
4. Treehuggerburg
Like Krusty, I live in sunny So. Cal. Fortunately, I live in Wrightwood, the perfect mountain town home of Mt. High- “So. Cal’s closest winter resort.” I offer the following nicknames:
1. The Aspen of LA County
2. The Wright town
3. Homes-too-close-together-sville
4. Where you can charge an exorbit amount for a shitty rundown A-frame home
5. Vacation Home Central
Can every one stop a minute and take two seconds to honor United States of Decou?
There, now wasn’t that nice? Seriously, I have not laughed harder since I found out GW was going to be our president for the next four years.
What’s the deal? Chucky Hasbean get’s no love! It’s funny in person, I swear!
(Schlups off, dejected, and hides under a couch cushion)
DA, don’t give up on Hasbean! Sometimes when the comedy genius is flying around like the flu bug, things get overlooked.
I must give mad props to Chucky for his comic stylings and wicked curly hair.
For Vancouver, British Columbia we have –
1. Hongcouver – 40% East Asian population
2. Vansterdam – relaxed drug laws like Amsterdam
3. Terminal City – last stop on the transcontinental railway
4. Lotusland
5. The ‘Couve