During the snow storm last week I decided it was time to try out the new slow cooker my parents had gifted me for Christmas. I figured it was a perfect time to give it a test run. I also thought it was an original idea because who else would trudge through 2 feet of snow to buy cumin, celery and beef? As I searched through the spice section at the local grocer I came across another hipster looking for cumin. Wearing skinny jeans, a gortex North Face jacket, Frye boots, and a black beanie (exactly what I was wearing), he explained to me that his parents bought him a slow cooker for Christmas and he wanted to give it a test run by making chili. About a minute later another hipster walked up, wearing the same outfit asking where the cumin was. Surely I came up with the original idea of #Netflixandchili? Within 3 hours there were 478 ‘Netflixandchili’ hashtags on Instagram. I’m sure my chili was the best though.
Month: January 2016
Password Drink
Dave and I spent 30 minutes trying to set WordPress up. All it asked for was my password. Between Facebook, Instagram, Amazon, Hulu, Twitter, American Airlines, United, Delta, Jet Blue, Qantas, Orbitz, Kayak, Bank of America, Chase, Chase Debit, Chase Credit, Chase Business, Amex, Etsy, Seamless, Pandora, Spotify, Yelp, ITunes, Apple ID, PayPal, Uber, Snapchat, Pandora, Venmo, Time Warner, Con Edison, National Grid, Fresh Direct, LinkedIn, Skype, AT&T, Airbnb, Roku, ESPN Watch, HBO Go, And Google, not sure why it took a minute to remember.
And the password hint, your childhood best friends name never works. Then you get locked out. Oy Vey!
I’m A Mexican
I’ve travelled all around the world and without a doubt I get asked 97% of the time if I’m Mexican or Spanish. I have nothing against Mexicans, but I don’t speak Spanish so it gets tricky when I’m constanly bombarded with Spanish speaking folk. Here’s a recent interaction from my taxi driver on the way to the airport.
Driver: Hey amigo, you speak Spanish.
Me: Nah.
15 minutes go by and I say nothing.
Driver: Where you flying?
Me: Mexico.
I’m not making this up. I was headed to Cancun to play in a festival.
Driver: Ok amigo, enjoy your trip.
Me: Gracias senor.
Ancestry of the Coal Miner’s Daughter
I traced back the ancestry of the coal miner’s daughter and it isn’t too exciting.
- Daughter
- Coal Miner
- Ditch Digger
- Slave Owner
- Metal Smelter
- Game Hunter
- Stone Carver
- Nut Gatherer
- Cave Dweller
- Knuckle Dragger
- Cave Dweller
- Nut Gatherer
- Stone Carver
- Game Hunter
- Metal Smelter
- Slave Owner
- Ditch Digger
- Coal Miner
Experimental Pizza Hut Crust Flavors
Ten bucks some marketing guy has pitched all of these experimental crust flavors to Pizza Hut at some point.
Dessert crust flavors:
- pudding
- oreo
- cookie dough
- candy corn
- candy cane
International crust flavors:
- gyoza
- borscht
- ayahuasca
Fast-food partnership crust flavors:
- KFC biscuit
- Olive Garden All-You-Can-Eat breadstick
- Señor Frog’s margarita
- Animatronic Chuck-E-Cheese theater show
Circumstantial crust flavors of the past (where and when available):
- locust (Kansas, 1874)
- moose antler (Teddy Roosevelt’s White House, 1904)
- atom bomb (Nevada Test Site, 1951)
Locally-sourced crust alternatives (where available):
- fried iguana skins (Galapagos Islands)