Final Results of the Zillionaire Bracket Pool

The NCAA tournament is over, and the results of the Zillionaire pool are final. Here are some noteworthy scores:

14th Place: (Dead Last): My Wife, score of 150.
13th Place: Logan, score of 195. Keep in mind, Logan is eleven months old, and his parents helped him fill out a bracket by having him point to various toys representing teams in the tourney. This process resulted in Albany (a #13 seed) making it to the Final Four in his bracket. Somehow, he still demolished my wife. Kind of puts her bracket in perspective.
11th Place: Moira, score of 234: An early leader in the tourney, her downfall was putting faith in the WSU Cougars to overachieve in a pressure-filled environment. Silly girl.
7th Place: The Captive Lion, score of 242. Nothing remarkable here, I just want to illustrate who finished one spot ahead in the standings…
6th Place: The Centaur, score of 244. Sixth place never tasted so sweet.
5th Place: Maleah, score of 257. (Incidentally, her husband, Krusty, finished 9th. He is currently hiding in shame.)
4th Place: Amy, score of 268.
3rd Place: Leigh, score of 278. Leigh caps off a nice showing by the ladies in the tourney. Thanks for playing ladies, you really helped class up this event.
2nd Place: Booth, score of 280.

And the winner, Jon Solo, with a score of 321. Amazingly, he correctly picked all of the Final Four teams, and the outcomes of all three Final Four games. This was truly a remarkable performance by Solo. One for the ages.

Solo, as promised, I do hereby bestow upon you bragging rights for an entire year. Also, I grant you permission to be an insufferable braggart whenever the topic of the tourney comes up. And if you desire, I will address you by a nickname befitting your bracket-related skills, perhaps something like “Professor Bracketstein” or “The Amazing Bracketini.” Your call.

Finally, there is one other award to present: “Best Impromptu Rap Lyrics Posted in the Group Message Board.”

Here is the lone entry, by The Captive Lion.

when was the last time i balled?

rain on the blacktop
means no game
the laws of nature
silence the swish of the chain
fold up my FILA shorts
and put away my hightops
peel off my extra-thick
double-layered sweatsocks
no dunkhoops today
no shake n’ bake for the sport
the only move i’m gonna make
is a stopoff at the foodcourt

On that note, let me wish a final congratulations and thanks to Jon Solo for teaching us all the true meaning of March Madness. And thanks to everyone that played along. We’ll be sure to do it again next year.