Zillionaire Security Bulletin

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Team,

With the recent relaunch of the website, it is critical that we all change passwords and conform to the new Password Policy.  What you see above is the old policy, which was considered highly secure in 2005.  Eleven years and an unknown number of security breaches later, we have lost zillions of dollars in expected revenue.  That changes now.

The new password policy goes into effect immediately.  Please change your password at your next login and be sure it conforms to the following requirements:

  • Password must be at least 38 characters long
  • Password must be an illegal play in Scrabble
  • Password must contain a prime number greater than 997
  • Password must contain two letters from a foreign alphabet (eg. ñ or ø)
  • Password must contain a symbol of foreign currency (eg. â‚¡)
  • Password must contain the name of a South American mountain range
  • Password must not contain your first or last name
  • Password must not contain the names of any spouses, ex-girlfriends, hookups, etc. It’s all on file.  We will be checking.
  • Password must not be longer than 22 characters
  • Password must be changed weekly

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

*That is an actual screen grab from my job