Internet Zillionaire

Have you ever wondered about the daily life of the world’s most rich and powerful? How much belly-button lint does Donald Trump’s navel collect? Does Oprah wash her hands after using the lavatory? What is Bill Gates’ screen name on Xbox Live? (Answer: HeadCheeze) The super rich have long been a mysterious clan of movers and shakers, but their world is about to be moved and shaken (not stirred).

Yes, the rumbling you just felt in your gut was not an earthquake, though its source will shift the course of humanity in profound and prolific ways. What you just felt were the doors of secrecy being blown open! Introducing INTERNETZILLIONAIRE.COM! Finally, the publishing medium of the masses has fallen into the hands of the filthy rich!

Be warned, however, humble reader of meager means, for the life of an internet zillionaire is one very much like your own. It is our zeal for the mundane which made us zillions (we invented the mouse pad, for example), so it is that which we want to share with you. Most posts will be humorous, but not all will be happy (turns out money can’t buy happiness which is a bummer). Some entries will be entirely devoid of humor, although not intentionally. Others will be only slightly humorous, which again is not our intention. We want to be funny, but if it were that easy, we’d bottle it and be zillionaires by now, which pretty much puts us back at square one, doesn’t it?