The Future of Grocery Shopping

At the current rate of increase, by the year 2210 A.D. you will get approximately 4,398 receipts at the supermarket after every purchase with a debit card. This will increase the chit-chat time with the cashier from “awkward” to “frequently verbally abusive.” It will, however, still not change the fact that you will throw all the receipts into the nearest garbage can upon exiting. Or the fact that you don’t write anything down in your checkbook because “it’s all online anyway.” The garbage can will just have to be emptied more often, but that will probably be a robot’s job, so you won’t feel bad. Plus, the back sides of the receipts will still have coupons and some of those will be worthwhile, so you will curse the fact that you can’t afford a robot of your own to sort through the receipt coupons. Instead you will watch as the robot who empties the garbage sifts through your receipts and in turn, gradually becomes the wealthiest robot in the galaxy.

3 thoughts on “The Future of Grocery Shopping”

  1. How’d that math come about? I thought you would have passed that by MR first. My understanding of how you might have come up with the math:

    Past: get one receipt
    Present: get one receipt
    Future: get one receipt times 4398.

    That’s brilliant!

  2. Show me a grocery store where you can pay with a debit card and receive only one receipt and I will quit my job, pack up all my things, move next to its location, and start shopping there immediately.

    You are right, however, that I should have run the math by MR first. He could’ve whipped up a spreadsheet with the exponential expected growth projected over the next two-hundred years in a jiffy. I could have then linked to said spreadsheet and wouldn’t have to be justifying the numbers to the likes of you! All hail the power of spreadsheets!

  3. I once stopped into Happy’s. They must be having some financial troubles because it seems they didn’t have enough money to afford giving out even one receipt. Wait, wait… That’s not true. I received a sloppy transaction record on the inside of a hilarious laffy taffy wrapper, followed by a coupon for said laffy taffy on the reverse of another hilarious hijink experienced by Bazooka Joe. I apologize for the confusion.

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