As promised, here are some highlights from last night’s Halo 2 showdown.
- My wife’s comment proved prophetic. I skipped dinner to play Halo 2 all night. This was partially due to lack of hunger. I thought ahead, and gorged myself almost to the point of physical illness at an all-you-can eat lunch buffet at Eatzza Pizza. Excellent foresight on my part. I was basically preparing for a Halo 2 hibernation. I could honestly last through the winter on that one meal… I figured I will be far less physically active in the coming months, and I probably won’t mate, so really my only concern at this point is just maintaining body temperature.
- I took great pride in teaching Solo the art of the Coldcock, the most demoralizing and efficient way to kill an opponent. It’s become my trademark move, and it’s not a secret I part with easily. I only regret that I didn’t somehow pull a Mr. Miyagi to trick Solo into sanding my deck or waxing my cars in exchange for the training…
For those of you unfamiliar with the Coldcock, here’s how it works:
First, you must sneak up behind you opponent. Before they realize you are there, you deliver a single blow with the butt of your gun to the back of their head that kills them instantly. The best part of this move is that you essentially send a message that their life isn’t even worth wasting a bullet to end. God, I live for delivering Coldcocks. Seriously, the only way this could be any more humiliating would be if you could somehow administer a wedgie in the process as well…
- Krusty left a message on my cell phone. The only way to describe the tone of his voice was giddy. It was obvious that he had either received a horse tranquilizer full of morphine, or he had spent the last 10 hours playing Halo 2. It was the latter that proved correct. His message rambled on for several minutes about laser swords and so forth until he finally passed out from elation. I managed to gather that he had gotten a chance to play Halo 2 down in Cali and it had changed his life. I am apprehensive to tell him this, because I don’t want his head to explode from trying to comprehend something like this, but here goes… Krusty, Halo 2 is even better online. Strap on the headphones with the rest of us, and you’ll find that there is nothing better in life than coldcocking your friends from thousands of miles away.
- The game moves much quicker now, but I fear it is at the expense of strategy. I guess it only impacts those of us that play Halo like we’re Gary Kasparov.
- Moment of Irony: A few times we experienced some minor difficulties waiting for the game to load. Each time this happened, someone in our group would curse all the other geeks online that were slowing the server down.
- Solo came through with the funniest observation of the evening. When Dave’s sister, Denise, (aka The Manhandler) joined our group, Solo had this to say, “Every time you hear a high-pitched voice playing online, you just assume it’s a ten year old boy. Every once it in awhile, it turns out to be a girl playing vids, and then you’re like ‘Whoa..”
We may still be scratching the surface of this topic…