I am not Tiger Woods

This is a confession. Forgive me father, for I am about to admit a sin. You see, nearly two years ago I quit stealing cable and stopped watching tv. Yes, I take some pride in this fact, but it is a double-edged sword. I’m often left out in the cold during mindless conversations about The Swan, Survivor, My Two Dads, and other hit shows of the day. Let me tell you, it hurts. But this won’t be a rant about reality shows, corporate media, or major-network television programming (cue collective sigh). No, this will be a rant about commercials!

That being said, every now and again, I happen to catch a little tube. I’m still a big fan of the Daily Show, some SNL (hit or miss as it is), and, of course, Live with Regis and Kelly. But now when I sit down to watch tv, it’s amazing to me the number, length and sheer psychological manipulation that is so evident with television commericals. Absence doesn’t always make the heart grown fonder, I’m afraid.

Specifically, I should mention that I am not Tiger Woods. You might have been misled awhile ago by the ads that Nike ran. True, I wasn’t featured in the commercial, so you might not necessarily associate me with that ad, but the intention was to make us all believe that we all are or could be Tiger Woods. Last time I hit the links, I kept reminding everyone in my foursome (cool, bonus points for a legitimate use of the word foursome!) that I was Tiger Woods and to make sure to study my form, take some pointers, and learn from my sweet stroke. I really believed it. So you can imagine my constant malaise when time after time, shot after shot, I was in the woods chopping down Douglas Firs with my two-iron looking for Tiger Wood’s errant duff. I assured my partners that they must use more special effects on tv than we are led to believe.

So I’m asking you all, is it just me or when you catch a sitcom on tv these days does the quality of the show seem subpar compared to the commerials? Should it be the other way around? I’m seriously guessing that commercials have bigger budgets than primetime shows now.

2 thoughts on “I am not Tiger Woods”

  1. Good observation DA. Maybe this will help. If you think about it, TV shows are huge commercials to get you to watch their network in order to get ratings, which brings huge advertising deals. The average commercial takes 80 hours of work for a 30 second spot. Unlike HBO, the average sitcom is about the same amount of work (less actually), yet it’s 17 minutes long. This might be your answer to quality. Plus they have to pump out 13 episodes a season, that’s why it’s rare to find a good show on TV. That’s why reality TV is such a big money maker, nobody has to pay actors, no writers, no scripts. It’s all done in post, editor’s be gettin paid.

  2. Yeah, I’m about ready to toss my tv in the dumpster also. If it wasn’t for sports, I’d probably never watch tv. And now, for f#@$’s sake, reality tv world is even making it into sports, with Kelly Clarkson performing at the skills events for NBA allstars. That was probably the single worst performance at a large sporting event that I have every witnessed. If I wanted to watch reality tv I’d tune in to any network channel after 8pm Monday through Friday, not the freakin’ all star skills events, thank you very much. And where did all of those teenie bobbers dancing to Clarkson come from, were they actually at the skills events or does Clarkson have them shipped around the coutry with her? One of the life’s important questions…

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