Before I’m 30.

I will tame a horse.

I will fall in love again.

I will go out of the country, make an ass of myself (aka remind myself what is to be an American! ((Shotgun blast goes off!)), and come back politically renewed. A bit jaded of late.

I will still listen to bad music. But now, I will posses a new zeal in proclaiming its goodness. Before I did a lot less proclaiming and more creating. Ha. Now that’s a thinkpiece for ya.

I will purchase a dwelling. (No, a tent doesn’t count. Already own one.)

No, I will build a dwelling. With my own two hands. Manpower. For a bird. Yes. Or other small creature. Including just not killing spiders when I see them. Under foot. Indeed.

I will tame another horse. This time with my hands tied behind my back. (Yes, that is supposed to be partly an italics joke. Let me know if it bombs.)

I will welcome our troops home from Iraq.

I hope I will continue to be using my talents to better the world. After all, there’s not much else to it. That’s kinda the only goal I can figure out we should all be going for.

Simultaneously, I will be able to oWn you at Halo 3. It’s my personal paradox. My PP.

What are some of yours?

Note. You have to be under 30 to answer. Or at least pretend to be. However, I won’t do a background check.

6 thoughts on “Before I’m 30.”

  1. By procreating, I’ve already done my part to improve the world. It’s my gift to mankind. You’re welcome.

    Seriously though, I would like to become more tolerant. When it comes to alcohol. I used to be able to drink a bottle of whiskey, straight up, in one sitting. I would then follow that up with a headbutt through the drywall of my apartment and urinating out a window. After that, I’d get on the phone at 3 am and call Solo and the Captive Lion to tell them about how drunk I was. Good times. Do I even attempt to pull all of that off nowadays? Of course not, and I’m even more concerned with where I’ll be two years from now. Hopefully there is still time to get back into the borderline alcoholic shape I was at a few years ago.

  2. I will learn to be the kind of parent that promotes education, encourages creativity, and instills positive values.

    I will visit the lair of this horse taming Lion.

    I will make daily activity and eating right a priority, not just something I enjoy talking about.

    I won’t apologize for enjoying pop music, or for being interested in the lives of those who sing it, no matter how much my husband criticizes me for it.

    I will show my friends and family how much I’ve learned from them and how much I love them for it.

    I will cherish my husband and love him for holding me to a high standard, for never giving up on me, and for loving me back.

  3. I will teach Logan compassion, tolerance and respect for others, and that Charlie’s dad isn’t that much of a jackass.

    I will enjoy bottles of rum on a tropical beach with my wife.

    I will shoot 67 and never touch my golf clubs again.

    I’ll let Solo and the Lion show me New York.

    I’ll accept my roots and listen to more country music.

    I will continue to balk at buying an Xbox … until Logan’s old enough.

  4. i will read book, front to back.

    i will play at msg (madison square garden).

    i’ll write another post on this website.

    i will try to come home at least once a year.

    i will exercise.

    is this a new years resolution?

  5. I will always set personal goals for myself, work on improving humanity, and continue to encourage everyone to do the same (all the while wearing my “Because I’m the Counselor, That’s Why!” T-Shirt).

  6. Since I passed that milestone, I now have a new set deadline:

    BEFORE I AM 40:

    I will have a torrid affair with Lark Voorhies and have Dave take pictures of us canoodling at a local TGIF to post on this site.

    I will use the phrase “dropped a duece” as part of closing arguments before a jury.

    I will cut down on senseless acts of violence and random uses of profanity.

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