Please Vote For My Wife

When you cast your ballots this Tuesday, I ask that you please vote in support of my wife. She is a hard-worker. She is responsible. And she needs your vote to become Spokane County Auditor.

And, she would definitely appreciate your vote for District Court Judge, position 4.

And finally, please also consider her for the 9th Legislative District House Seat #2.

Ok, technically, she isn’t knowingly running for any of those offices. When I filled out my absentee ballot today, I noticed there were a handful of races that were either unopposed or featured candidates that I had never heard of. So, I decided to list my wife as a write-in candidate for those positions.

But then, when I actually had to mark my vote, I determined that she was too inexperienced and generally unqualified to hold office. And thusly, I voted against her in all three races.

In a few days, the results will come out, and my wife will be the first ever write-in candidate to not even get the vote of the person that wrote her in. And, she’ll likely finish dead last in three different races, with a grand total of zero votes. Clearly, she needs your support.

I feel bad for her, but I made the right decision. In each race, I voted for the best candidate. I’m proud to say that I voted my conscience, and didn’t let any personal feelings get in the way. This is how our democracy is supposed to function.

5 thoughts on “Please Vote For My Wife”

  1. I am highly entertained by this write in. I personally was disgusted by the positions that had no opposition. I mean if no one runs agtainst them how are they supposed to stay hungry. Obviously without a quality opponent we are going to get a sub par performance. I wrote in Marv Albert on a number of positions. GO Marv.

  2. In a city the size of Spokane, a website with this kind of readership could potentially sway the vote. I like your line of thinking. And that extra District Court Judge salary would give little Charles a hefty college trust fund. Let me guess, this was all on the life spreadsheet. Should I call Hillary Clinton’s camp and tell them it’s Jeannette in 2008 for comptroller!

  3. Off the subject–

    I was just thinking, have you guys bought the sites:
    1) internetbazillionaire.com
    2) internetgazillionaire.com
    3) internetgoogaplex.com

    I don’t even want to bring this up because it’s useless talking about things that are impossible, but I would hate to see someone out do the zillionaires. You know, Bill Gates is knocking at your door with his double digit billion. Sooner or later they will catch up and zillion will just be pocket change. Just something to think about.

  4. I’ve done some exit polling on election day.

    So far, prelimary results indicate my wife is currently receiving 0% of the vote. However, there is a +/- 3% margin of error in this poll.

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