Gather ’round boys and girls, I wish to tell you about a great injustice that befell me years ago… (cue harp music and waving-fade camera effect to signify a flashback is beginning…)
It was the summer of 1999. It was a simpler time then. Our days were spent stocking our fallout shelters for the inevitable Y2K disaster. Nobody thought Arnold Schwarzengger would ever take the oath of office (click for audio). And everyone was convinced that in five years nobody would go to the store for anything. Hence, pouring your life savings into an Internet company that sold cat food online was considered a shrewd investment.
Also, cell phones were not yet mainstream, meaning people had to deal with the hassles of long distance plans with numerous hidden fees and restrictions.
The phone company MCI had just sent me a huge bill for some long distance calls. Naturally, since this predated sending anthrax through the mail, I decided to call and complain. After being on hold for about nine hours, I finally got to begin explaining the problems with my bill. Unable to adjust the billing herself, the operator attempted to rectify the situation…
Operator: “Sir, you can mail a letter to our customer service complaint department to further assist you… I’ll give you their address…”
Me (stunned): “Write a letter? Don’t they have a 1-800 number?”
Operator: “No, I’m sorry, they can’t be reached by phone. You need to write them a letter.”
Me (outraged): “What? This is MCI! You guys are a (expletive) phone company! What do you mean they don’t have a phone number? That’s your whole (expletive) business!”
Needless to say, the lines of communication deteriorated rapidly after that exchange. MCI banked (wisely) on laziness impeding any action on my part. It was a risky gamble, but one that seems to unwaveringly pay off when the American public is concerned. So, like everyone else, with clenched teeth I paid my bill in full, shook my fist in the air, and vowed revenge. Had the company not gone bankrupt four years ago, that revenge would have come today in the form of this angry manifesto. Seems kind of petty now, so I’ll just talk about my XBox 360.
Which brings me to my current problem: (cue wavy camera effects, signifying a return to the present day…)
Last night, my 360 froze up. I’m not feeling good about the situation one bit. My experience has taught me that companies that base their business in advanced technology usually don’t possess the most basic technology to actually deal with customer complaints. I have a feeling that when it comes time to helping a customer, all of a sudden, Microsoft has never heard of email.
So, I can’t wait to call Microsoft’s XBox support hotline tomorrow and have the “customer service” representative tell me she doesn’t have Internet or a computer and the only way to submit a complaint is via passenger pigeon. Wish me luck, I feel a potential outrage developing…
And they just released the beta of Halo 3 last night. Your 360 has impeccable timing.
i had my 360 die on me, the customer supprt was amazingly helpful. crappy UPS guy dropped my brand new 360 over my 6 foot chsin link fence and my puppy decided it was time to chew it up. thats where my outrage began. so as far as microsoft goes on their CS, its pretty good. there is an amazing voice recognition program to assist you. i like it.
but the real outrage is Halo 2 online. they rest the stats, which doesnt bother me, but they made the new maps mandatory for most ranked games. and you still have to pay for them. so im striking ranked match,aking until the maps are free. which isnt until early july. i am absolutely pissed about this.
The good news is that my 360 is working now. For some reason, it just inexplicably wouldn’t turn on for 24 hrs. The only downside is that when it starts up now, it sounds like a space shuttle launch. I suppose I can live with that.
But seriously, I’m a little saddened by the lack of praise on that Schwartzenegger clip. If that’s not the most perfect “oath” for him I don’t know what is. I dunno, maybe making fun of the governator is played out and nobody has the heart to tell me.
Freezing 360’s are par for course these days. I also am on my second. I think around 17% of 360 owners are on their 2nd, 3rd or 4th. They are good at replacing them now! ;-)
And Anubis, seriously, you are pissed about $4 for some refreshing new content for a game that’s 2 years old? You go ahead and wait till those maps are free and H3 is out. Until then I’ll enjoy the last few months of H2 with the new maps…
microsoft puts out crap, we all know it. what kind of business sells a product knowing that 20 percent will break (was their no research done). i’m still using my mac 733 g4. runs fine, plus has been used very hard the last 4 years. bungie’s cool though. i don’t blame them for charging a few bucks before they drop halo 3.
Okay, so the Schwarzenegger clip was clever, but I have to say that it probably is time to rest the governator jokes.
But hey, on a brighter note Jerry Falwell died today! At least the world is a better place…
Captive lion–
I was going to present to you how macs don’t have virus writers after it, and how its not main stream and therefore the bad stuff isn’t compatible with macs, but I won’t go down that route. I’ll take the high road because I don’t play like that. I’ll just leave it at Macs suck.
Centaur-so I hear that halo3 comes out sept 25. They will have 3 versions. The top version “legendary edition” comes with a metal helmet as worn by master chief. you could even wear it snow skiing. Fight off aliens while zooming down the mountain.
By the way, ahnuld jokes never get old. I haven’t heard the clip yet, but I’ll listen to it when I get to work.
Ryan
Ryan, quit frothing at the mouth and take a step back. You sound like a newb on slashdot, or the one of the youtube comment trolls. I didn’t even write nothing about macs vs. pcs. But I will say that now that all Macs run on Intel chips, you can run Vista side by side OS X on the same hardware. Win, win!
I just played the new Halo beta and damn it is awesome. I hope that the few zillionaires out there that have actually not gotten an xbox 360 will actually get off their lazy butts.
actually philnick, you’re right, im pissed about $4 for content that I’m already paying for, i bhought the game, and i pay xbox live, why pay more? i have already paid my $140 (should be $100 but they raised the price) for my halo 3 legendary edition. they are going to get their money. $4 for maps for a game that’s about to be replaced is stupid. proof that microsoft is a company that makes millions daily, but will use the addiction of 10-14 yr olds to make just a little more. i think it’s a pitiful dislay of corporate america. where companies spend little to make alot.
btw, there’s nothing amazing about those two maps, they’re fricken remakes of halo 1. somebody should seriously think of something new. oo yay hang em high, with the slower rocket in halo 2. i never even liked the other map in halo 1, y would i play it on halo 2?
to all the haters- come sept 25th- you will be silenced or you will be envious of everyone else who is battling on Halo 3. And the remake of the halo 1 maps are pretty sick until you play the beta!!