The First Sext


The first sext was not erotic in the slightest. It was not sent at 2 am. It was not even a booty call.

The first sext was not a witty pick-up line beamed to space on a cellular network. It was not even transmitted over the Internet.

The first sext was not sent from a man to a woman or vice versa. It was definitely not the work of a horny politician with a sex addiction (although that would come much later).

Shockingly, the first sext did not include a picture of anyone’s genitalia. And despite their popularity nowadays, it was not accompanied by a naked bathroom selfie.

The first sext was delivered by hand, however it was not handwritten.

The first sext was incredibly concise and yet evoked a thousand salacious images.

While I don’t know the exact time or place, the first sext was most likely exchanged in a school from one giggling boy to another. And these boys were almost assuredly nerds. (When the first sext appeared, nerds were still mocked and not super cool Internet Zillionaires like nerds today.)

The first sext was a groundbreaking example of creative expression using the latest technology. The message itself took up nearly the entire screen on which it appeared. Most of these screens were solar powered, so the first sext was likely viewed in daylight or at least under the institutional glow of flourescent lighting.

The first sext did not realize it was a sext for many years, and later modestly stepped down, taking a back seat and letting the cocky new generations express themselves with no clue that it–sitting right back there behind them, fat and bald and wearing a Hypercolor t-shirt and loud green, yellow and red Cross Colours jeans–was the true Originator.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first sext:


3 thoughts on “The First Sext”

  1. Yeah I’m pretty sure we created that one in jensen’s class. You could also add a hello if your screen was big enough…

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