Dominos Tracker

Pizza tracker

I’ve been enthralled with the Dominos pizza tracker for many years. The first time I ordered online was an experience like no other. I chose thin crust, as opposed to hand tossed, with regular marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese, pepperoni and banana peppers. “Muhammad has prepared your pizza and put it in the oven.”  I immediately chose the Jamaican themed tracker. The sound of the ocean and a quasi Jamaican accent serenades me of the progress of my creation.

“Your order is going into the oven.” (said in a Jamaican accent) My mouth begins to water in anticipation for the salty delight. I patiently wait while listening to Reggae muzak and another update chimes. “Muhammad is double checking your order for quality.” I like the sound of that. Dominos has become the Apple computers of fast food pizza chains, constantly updating your product, like iTunes. Another few minutes go by, “Jose is on his way!” Thirty minutes later the pizza arrives and I couldn’t be happier.  I tip $5.00 and begin to feast.

Fast forward four years later. The pizza is still bad and it takes longer to get your order. In reality this is what the tracker is telling you.

“Muhammad hastily put your toppings in a haphazard manner and threw it in the oven.” 20 minutes later, another update. “Muhammad is NOT double checking your pizza for quality because he went outside to have a smoke.” The best part is when the pizza is done and is “ready for delivery,” but sits untouched for another 40 minutes. The update chimes in, “your arder is getting cold mon.” From ordering to receiving, an hour and half has past, and I’m tired of Reggae muzak. Next time I’ll try the baseball theme, “your order is striking out, and you should’ve gone to Pizza Hut.”


Also published on Medium.

One thought on “Dominos Tracker”

  1. So true!

    I think the Domino’s pizza tracker is ahead of its time. Sometimes the human race needs to catch up to the “innovation”. We just aren’t ready for our foundations to make such an epic shift in pizza delivery expectations.

    The pizza tracker is like a reality show of your pizza getting made.

    With all the detail, it gets a little too hands on. It’s like “I called you guys to take care of all the work. I trust you to do your jobs. I don’t need to know you just put the peppers on it.”

    By the time the pizza gets to my door, I am like “Do I really need to pay full price for this? I helped make it. In fact, I feel like I managed the whole operation. Doesn’t the manager get a free pizza on every shift they work. Cool, this is my free pizza and I’m clocking out right now.” And then I shut the door.

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