October 3rd, 2006

A Remarkable Comeback

by The Centaur

This is a true success story. After years of teetering on the brink of extinction, Little Caesar’s Pizza is making a triumphant comeback.

Like the American bison, Little Caesar’s once covered the landscape in vast numbers. Then, about ten years ago, they started to suddenly vanish. Their collapse was inexplicable, as they were certainly popular and profitable. Perhaps they were caught grinding up the homeless for pizza ingredients. As far as I’m concerned, that’s about the only thing that could simultaneously explain the low prices and the precipitous drop in franchises.

Thankfully, before Little Caesar’s was completely wiped out, the last remaining franchises were rounded up and put in a captive breeding program. And last week, one of the hatchlings was released back into my neighborhood:

Little Caesars2 resized.jpg

For those unfamiliar with Little Caesar’s, notice the coupon on the right. Little Caesar’s was the first pizza chain to put out high-volume pizza deals. Four pizzas for one low price! Genius.

And now they’ve added another innovation:

Little Caesars resized.jpg

They now have pizzas that are pre-made and ready to go. And they’re dirt cheap too. No need to call ahead, they’ve always got a pepperoni or cheese pizza ready when you pull in. Again, genius.

Are you starting to wonder how this enterprise could have ever failed? Seems impossible, right? I’m still not sure how it happened. Rest assured though, we had Little Caesar’s last week, and this time there was no hobo aftertaste. So far so good. With proper stewardship, I feel confident that Little Caesar’s will be around for future generations to enjoy.

8 Responses to “A Remarkable Comeback”

Chris
10/04/2006

Recently I was fortunate enough to sample a Hot-N-Ready at a Little Caesar’s in Corvallis, Oregon. I’ll tell you, that name is not a misnomer. Although, instead of referring to the pizza, I think the name is referring to the state of your anus a few hours after eating one… “Hot-N-Ready” to spew more diarrhea, etc. etc.

solo
10/05/2006

i know why the franchise sunk, i’d take papa johns anyday over lil’ caesars. and that’s a big stretch. but after living in nyc for a while, i find dominoes is the only way to go outside a real slice.

Krusty
10/05/2006

For me anyone who has an actual life long passionate relationship with frazzini’s pizza has no credit to talk about pizza. Frazzini’s and little ceasars is like cardboard with terrible cheese. If they can serve pizza at a price of four for the price of one than I don’t want to eat it. If it’s value is less than one I will steer clear. I know everyone one else thinks frazz is great and I’m crazy but if little cesar makes a come back I might start a protest. I will come to Spokane and picket.

The Captive Lion
10/06/2006

First off, way to take the high road on that comment, Chris. I think you should have bolded the word anus or something because it didn’t stick out like a sore thumb enough already. Good to see you are still lurking around these parts, by the way.

Solo, you know the only true NY slice is a Sbarro! Centaur will back me up on that.

Krusty, you are alone on a sinking canoe. Don’t you ever speak ill of Frazzini’s or the Frazz himself on this website. I defend it with the honor of a knight defending his virgin. And in true Shakespearean fashion, I play both the knight and the virgin. One role is a bit of stretch.

Regarding Little Ceasars, I think of the HNR as their version of an all-you-can-eat. Remember, they don’t usually have seating in their establishments. Another plus in their column is that they actually sell pizza by the slice at lunch. In a wallet friendly combo. With a drink and a salad. Or you can just swap out the salad for another slice, which is the way I used to play the game.

But truth be told, I’ve always regretted getting this thing as I tend to eat it for every meal and snack for the next 24 hours and my insides start curing like pepperoni. My heart burn gets so bad that I could fry an egg on my chest. My acid reflux gets all the way up to 88.8 gigawatts and Doc appears above my bed and calls me Marty.

Centaur, this post was a bit of a stretch but I can forgive you because it was about pizza. I’m actually thinking we should create a new category because Xbox is getting tired and pizza is actually the next best thing. Right above warm laundry.

The Centaur
10/06/2006

I like the idea for a new category. But “Pizza” is too limited. I basically just want an area where I can scan in pictures of fast food coupons.

Next Week: Arby’s Five for Five.

Krusty
10/09/2006

AHHHHHHHHH five for five.

Anubis
10/18/2006

i love Little Caesar’s! Here in Midland, Tx we’ve always had one but noone ate there. until the HNR promo hit the streets. now there’s a guy dressed up as caeser himself selling pizza on the roadway. HNR is the best for anyone needing a good meal with little time to pick it up. It saved my life in high school. But I did notice the coupon said large pizza for $5.55, ours sells them for $5 flat tax included. Lunch used to consist of a large pepperonni with crazy bread and a 20 oz coke for about $9. i shared my pizza with my friends of course but the crazy bread is addicting!
oh, and Lion, i agree with the Sbarro comment. i went to NY twice this summer and had Sbarro pizza. it was AMAZING!

Michelle
10/30/2006

little caesars is hecka good. I work there, and I promise you, we do use real cheese and all that. Its not bad pizza.

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