Whirlyball Weekend Update

Update: Whirlyball highlight reel has been archived: whirlyball.mov.

Weekend Recap by MR

Truthfully, I wasn’t going to do a write-up on our weekend in Seattle from a few weeks ago… I mean, honestly, how many stories about Krusty loosing his ID can the Internet support? Anyway, I couldn’t resist, here’s a couple highlights…

First off, hail to Whirlyball… The new Official Sport of Zillionaires. Other nominees for this distinction included: bocce ball, horseshoes, dunk hoops, paintballing, shuffle puck, and fox hunting.

As expected, a round of the Ding! Ding! game erupted during a 24-story ride in the elevator of a luxury hotel. Unfortunately, Krusty’s friend Rossi didn’t understand the “rules” involved, and simply grabbed Krusty’s neck and started bashing his head against the wall of the elevator. Not cool, man. Not cool. As everyone knows, the Ding! Ding! game is not a barbaric fight to the death, but rather, a graceful ballet of cheap shots and sucker punches… Sadly, Rossi’s actions robbed the Ding! Ding! game of its artistry.

While we’re on the subject, I’m not sure why the Ding! Ding! game always seems to flare up in elevators. Perhaps it’s the confined space. It could be the ring-like atmosphere. I can’t explain it, but elevators just seem to be the favorite venue for the Ding! Ding! game. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t ride in an elevator any more without subconsciously protecting my genitals.

We stopped for a few pitchers at the Pike Pub Brewery on Saturday afternoon. We sat in a back booth, pounding beers, completely unaware of the celebrities in our midst. Thankfully, Dave was there to point out that the table across the bar was filled with famous Internet-related icons, including the developer of the software that powers this website. In unison, the rest of us glanced over, nodded, and then resumed drinking our beer. But in Dave’s world, we were in the presence of rock stars. For the rest of the afternoon, Dave watched them from across the room, plotting his approach…

As we were leaving the bar, Dave made his move. He walked up to their table, introduced himself, began praising their products, and thanked them for their contributions to the Internet world. He didn’t actually use the phrase, “I’m your biggest fan,” but he came damn close. Since he had pretty much morphed into a groupie at this point, I was relieved that he didn’t end up tossing his panties and room key onto their table. Thankfully, the guys were cool about it and actually seemed to appreciate Dave’s adulation, even though it meant autographing his cleavage…

As you can imagine, we Zillionaires have amassed our respective fortunes in a variety of different ways. However, most of us still have significant holdings in childhood investments diversified between baseball cards, Garbage Pail Kids, and Star Wars action figures. Naturally, we made a point of venturing over to the vintage toy store at Pike Place to check on the value of our portfolio. Thankfully the cash value of these investments is still strong, meaning I will someday be able to retire securely as a Garbage Pail Kids tycoon.

7 thoughts on “Whirlyball Weekend Update”

  1. I am sad to see that the promised video feed is not up yet. However what a trip. I was happy to see all of the zillionaires together again. My fondest memory is slightly fuzy but I seem to recall a tower of beer being brought to our table at the rock bottom brewery. While we didn’t see any famous nerds it was a great time. Hail to all that fell before the might of the yellow team. On side note I’m color blind so I may have been on the red team I’m not really sure.

  2. The video is in quicktime format. If you having trouble seeing it, get the player at Apple’s website.

    Big thanks to the Booths (especially Kerri) for recording the video and mailing it to me. I’m especially proud that it shows what a dominant force I am in a bumper car. Check my block out in slow-mo and make sure to really digest the beauty of the Johnny to Chizzler full-court pass and easy deuce.

  3. We’ve got to get Booth to start maintaining an extensive database of Whirlyball statistics… I want to be able to check out the box score after every match.

  4. after reading the article i was unpleasently surprised with how boring whirly ball looked. seemed like a bunch of nerds rolling around on slow-ass bumper cars, with mini-sized lacrosse rackets in their hands . ok i’m just jealous i wasn’t there.

  5. Solo, your description is accurate but somehow the game still manages to be a lot of fun. You are forgetting that alcohol is in the mix.

    I would love to see your disappointment if we videotaped ourselves playing Halo2 and then put that on the internet.

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