Happy Letdown Day!

Today is my birthday. December 29th. Like every other year, it will be a day spent without singing, fanfare or festivities.

Me: “Hey everyone! Today’s my birthday!”
Family member: “Nice try. We just celebrated your birthday, like, four days ago. Hello?”
Me: “No… that was Jesus’ birthday. You know, Christmas. I know it’s easy to get the two of us confused. My birthday is today!”
Family members (exchanging nervous glances): “Oh, right… well, those gifts we got you were actually meant for Christmas and your birthday. Happy Letdown Day!”

For the record, I am neither redheaded nor a stepchild. I’m just treated as such. By virtue of having a birthday four days after Christmas, each year I am annually shafted, stiffed, or forgotten altogether. People are so busy celebrating Jesus’ birthday, they tend to overlook mine. It’s understandable. He probably deserves more birthday fanfare than I do.

The problem is the scheduling. Believe me, it’s hard sharing the stage with Jesus this time of year. And I’m in the unenviable position of trying to go after Jesus. He knocks ’em dead every show. Nobody wants to take the stage after Him. There’s just no way for me to top His act, and most of the audience has already filed out anyway.

By December 29th, people are simply ready for the holidays to be over. Frankly, I understand the sentiment. I realize that my birthday is really more of an additional holiday pain-in-the-ass than a cause for celebration. After Christmas, nobody wants to shop for gifts. The malls are just as packed with people, but there is half the selection and zero goodwill towards men. They’ve already spent enough time with family. Nobody wants to wrap anything. And everyone is flat-out sick of being festive. Simply put, celebrating my birthday after Christmas gets the same level of enthusiasm from people as if I suggested we order a pizza immediately after Thanksgiving dinner.

Why couldn’t I have been born on February 29th, the day that leap year is observed? At least my birthday would be recognized every four years, instead of every decade or so as it is now. No such luck. Today is my birthday. And the holidays are over. Happy Letdown Day.

9 thoughts on “Happy Letdown Day!”

  1. Eh. That sucks. My birthday is in the beginning of the second week of December. Prime location. My birthday and Jesus’ are just far enough apart that I get gifts for both, but not so far that the excitement from my birthday dies down before Christmas. Yes.

  2. I know how you feel. My fiance’s birthday is on the 28th, just a day before yours. She got pretty upset this year because many people overlooked her birthday and didn’t even make an attempt to celebrate it. It gets old after a while and it really is a tragedy.
    Well, Happy Birthday! I hope you make another Zillion ;)

  3. Well, this certainly is awkward. I don’t know whether to wish you a happy birthday, start a new religion with you at the center, or just avoid the day all together like the rest of the world is. :)

    Maybe I’ll just give you some birthday advice. This is normal. You are almost 30 years old. You are fully-employed and can buy yourself anything you want. Maybe those around you have picked up on these subtle clues and reacted appropriately. You are lucky people even remember the day. (Although, announcing it on the Internet certainly helps, eh?)

    I mean, really, what do you expect? Twenty-eight candles on a chocolate-covered cupcake that you smash and rub all over your face while Mom snaps a photo for your scrapbook?

    Sorry, dude… it needed to be said. But really Happy Birthday!

  4. Um, so I think this is directed at me in part. OPPS! I was too busy thinking about work when we talked and totally forgot to say Happy Birthday!!!!!! I’m sorry. I hope this year is as good as the year at Frazzini’s. =)

  5. i no what you’re talking about centaur. me being a second child, they tricked me early. i believed that i was lucky to have a birthday near christmas, cause then they could put my gifts under the tree. i mean, who has a tree up in the middle of july, besides elvis? then it didn’t seem to matter once i turned 21. after that, i just used my birthday as a significant reason to get liquored up. happy b-day.

  6. Well, I had a pretty good Letdown Day yesterday. Thanks to everyone that came out to celebrate. I’m not sure if this post inspired pity in my friends, but if so, I’ll take it. Thanks everyone.

    And for the record, I didn’t get a 360 for my birthday either, meaning yesterday was spent just like Christmas morning: throwing a hysterical crying tantrum.

  7. Aha! My girlfriend’s birthday is the 24th of December and she very often gets looked over, due to that. (Not since she met me, however.)

    Meanwhile, what we all REALLY want to know is if you got your much-ballyhooed XBox (aka MS Paper Weight)? ;]

  8. Romerican,

    I don’t normally do requests… (mainly because I’ve never gotten any) but I agree, yet another post on the 360 is in order.

    In due time though… there is some pressing news on the fetus front that must be broadcast…

    The Centaur

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