As I mentioned last week, the Centaur household is in need of a new grocery-getter. And once it came time to find a new family car, I had only one concern weighing on my mind: My own personal comfort.
Therefore, I initially focused my car search on used limousines. I really liked the aspect of privacy glass and the abundance of luxurious amenities. Also, the option of being able to raise a barrier walling off the driver at the passengers’ discretion was particularly desirable. I was all set to buy one, actually. Unfortunately, my wife refused to wear a chauffeur’s outfit, which ultimately killed the allure for me.
My next choice was a giant motor home. Obviously, the ability to run errands in a fully functioning home on wheels was enticing. I even found a really fuel-efficient model that got upwards of six miles to the gallon, highway. It all seemed like a great deal until I realized I couldn’t find a motor home with a basement, thus making it impossible to include a mobile Zillionaire’s Lounge as well. No thanks.
Finally, I arrived at the next best choice: A minivan.
Now, put your prejudices aside and please keep in mind the following:
1. I don’t ever plan on driving the van.
2. I don’t ever plan on riding in the passenger seat either.
No, I will reside solely in the way back. While traveling, I will be sitting in one of several leather seats that fully recline and offer ottomans to rest my feet on. I will be enjoying ample legroom, headroom and armrests. I will be utilizing the many cupholders and adjusting my own climate settings in the back. I will be watching DVD’s, playing video games or sleeping comfortably. And I will be doing all of these things while my wife does the driving. I only wish the van had a fireplace option, just so it would create the experience of riding around in a living room on wheels.
Are you ready for the icing on the minivan purchase? I asked for a vibrating/heat massage pad that plugs into a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Ideally, I will be doing all of the above while simultaneously getting a Swedish massage.
Surprisingly, my wife is completely in favor of this arrangement. Let’s examine how a minivan purchase benefits her:
1. With me isolated in the back, she has complete control of the radio and thermostat, luxuries as yet unknown to her.
2. Disengaged in the back, I will be unable to critique her driving, or that of other motorists.
3. Provided I am awake, I’ll be able to keep a semi-watchful eye on our son while we travel.
As you can see, the minivan truly makes everyone happy. It is roomy and comfortable like a motor home. It is even black, with privacy windows, closely resembling a limousine. And to be on the safe side, just in case she changes her mind, I got my wife a chauffeur’s outfit for Christmas.
If you’d like to see pictures of the Grocery-Getter II, check out my wife’s blog.