ROAR! The Captive Lion is coming out of his cage! I’m tired of the psuedo-humor writing!
I have other sides of me. I have other desires. I want to write novels. I want to cure disease. I want to get Tivo! But most of all, I want to be famous for saying something really smart. Hear that world! I want to invent a theory!
First of all, it’s got to have a killer name! Most brilliant scientists get this all wrong. They come up with the theory first, and name it second. Sorry eggheads, dumb move. I’m gonna do just the opposite. I’ll come up with the name of my theory and then deal with the nitpicky details of what it proves.
Some rules for naming a theory:
- Got to have the word “theory” in it. This is no conjecture, point, or hypothesis. I’m gunning for the big dogs here.
- The name should sound tough like an action movie, aka The Bourne Identity.
- There needs to be a vaguely-familiar, gigantic, multisyllabic word in there so people feel smart saying it.
- It definitely needs to start with the word “The” so that it can stand alone as if on solid rock.
- It would be awesome if it wore a yellow sleeveless t-shirt with holes cut into the back so that when it entered the wrestling ring against other theories it would immediately intimidate them by ripping off the shirt and throwing it into the audience!
- You should be able to imagine Jeff Goldblum playing the lead role in a movie that incorporates the theory.
So I sat around for a few seconds after thinking about those rules and the name hit me. It’s intriguing. It’s slighty mysterious. It’s smart sounding. It’s shamelessly derivative. It’s the figure-four leg-lock of theories. It’s coming to a theater near you. It’s…
The Galapagos Theory
Now I just need some ideas to wrap that name around and I’m all set. Any suggestions? I’ll give you half the credit in the history books as long as my name comes first.