Unanswered Questions in Who-ville

Who can forget?
The Grinch and the Whos
A Christmas tale of redemption
With no Jesus, just truths

Remember the story?
I’m sure that you must
The Grinch steals the toys
And makes Christmas a bust

But then something happens
A small miracle they say
His heart grows three sizes
Three whole sizes that day!

Just like that, he’s a new Grinch
Still green, but now free
No longer miserable
He joins the Whos by the tree

It’s a wonderful tale
Full of both tears and laughter
But I’m beginning to wonder
What happens after?

Does the Grinch move to Who-ville
And start a new life?
Does he remain celibate
Or does he take a Who-wife?

Is that even legal in Who-ville?
Who even knows?
What about his new big great heart?
Does it continue to grow?

I can just see it
Beating and pounding real slow
Swelling right through his rib cage
Ready to blow

No one can live with a heart
Three times its original size
Dr. Suess would have us believe differently
The man’s full of lies

Or I guess you could argue
That Grinches are unique
Their bodies could be boneless
That would explain his physique

Ok, so then what about New Years?
Do the Whos sing and shout?
Or is just Christmas
Where they rock out with their Whos out?

Or maybe in Who-ville
There is another huge draw
And you can find good ole Grinchy throwing beads
At the Who-ville Mardi Gras!

I don’t mean to be rude
I’m just asking questions
My puzzler is puzzled
By all these suggestions

What happens when the snow melts
And all the presents are empty?
Does the gift-wrap get recycled
By some homeless Who-dude for a measly buck fifty?

It’s reality people
There are other factors to be considered
How come no one asks
How the Whos despose of their litter?

And the Grinch’s poor dog
What becomes of it?
I’m sure the staples in its head
Scab over real quick

But perhaps the biggest riddle of them all
Is not answered in the least
How many hours in the oven
Do you cook a roast beast?

So I’m patiently pondering
My mind in a stew
Waiting and wanting
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas: Part Two

Author’s note: Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all you Zillionaires out there! 2006 has been a great year and I have no doubt that 2007 will be even better!

9 thoughts on “Unanswered Questions in Who-ville”

  1. That was great! I thoroughly enjoyed this different side of the Captive Lion – funny, rhyming, seasonal poetry … what a treat! Merry Christmas, Dave.

  2. you have entirely too much time. but quite a bit of talent. good job and to be politically correct. merry christmahanzaquanika

  3. My wife and I were just debating that some of Christmas songs & shows need updated.

    C’mon…Who really rides around in a one horse open sleigh? When was the last time YOU roasted chestnuts on an open fire?

    Thanks for the new take on one of the classic.

    One last thought…where would anyone find a 39 and half foot pole?

  4. nice touch. i’m actually watching the grinch who stole x-mas right now. to h.g. peterman, “it’s christmas time, in hollis queens…”

  5. Nice work Lion. Will we see a series of holiday rhymes? Include halloween, easter, quanza oh and I can’t wait for your boxing day blast.

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