I hate cooking for one.
Although, I don’t know if Bobby Flay would call this cooking.
I doubt a pizza boat and intermittent swigs of juice out of the carton qualifies.
It feels more like grazing or gathering, something lower on the civilization scale.
Why is it so hard to find the right portion sizes?
There should be a section for singles food next to the baby food.
It would basically be the same as the baby food just less ground up.
I should have a cooking show called Dining Alone with Pat Malone where I go by the name of Pat Malone and I just make all types of pizza boats.
Instead of wine, I would pair them with different cocktails you can only make with the gimmicky colas and “fruit” drinks that you find at the corner store. Example menu: Pat Malone’s Pepperoni Pizza Boat with ice cold Rummy D’s*.
My sign off would be classic. “That’s it and thanks for watching Dining Alone with Pat Malone. Until next time, remember don’t get too down on yourself. Things are looking up, I swear.”
Then it would fade to a black screen with next week’s menu on it. Pat Malone’s Plain Cheese Pizza Boat with Cream Soda Champagne.
*If you aren’t familiar, the recipe for a Rummy D is as follows:
One bottle of Captain Morgan’s rum.
One bottle of Sunny Delight original flavor or “California Style”
- Pour out 3/4 of the bottle of Sunny Delight.
- Yell out to everyone around that as the doctor at the Rummy D hospital you are proud to welcome the birth of a new litter of Rummy D’s into the world. This gets everyone excited.
- Now pour the whole bottle of rum into the Sunny D bottle. Remember, Sunny D already comes in gel form, so the rum, in fact, just helps with the consistency and dilutes the flavor of the D a little.
- Watch out! After you finish one glass, you will inevitably do something so stupid that a friend will end up pouring the whole concoction down the drain.