Teaching A Baby To Talk

My son is a year old and he has already learned a handful of words. Clearly, his favorite word is “Dada”, as he uses it to interchangeably express ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ and ‘happy new year’ and about 25 other things. For my son, “Dada” basically functions like the word “Aloha” for native Hawaiians.

Anyway, while the words “Dada” and “Mama” certainly make his parents proud, I worry about how far these words will actually take him in life. For instance, I certainly doubt the word “Dada” will impress anyone in a job interview. So, I’ve decided to start teaching him some of my favorite words that will assist him in all facets of life…

Words to use in a job interview:

Spearhead
Catalyst
Pinnacle
Veritable
Impetus

Words to use in an office meeting:
Exhaustive
Spreadsheet (use it as a verb, as in “Let me spreadsheet the proposal and get back to you.”)
Due-diligence
Sidestep
Conduit

Words to use when making a deal:

Collateral
Non-negotiable
Accountable
Dealbreaker
Timeline

Words to express dissatisfaction (I have many of these):
Outrage
Perfect (once he has mastered the use of sarcasm)
Finally (once he has mastered the use of sarcasm)
Hassle
Standard
Typical
Headache
UN-believable
UN-acceptable (Please note, I know that “unbelievable” and “unacceptable” are not spelled with multiple capital letters or hyphens. I’m trying to illustrate how they should be pronounced.)

Words to describe someone untrustworthy:
Gypsy
Charlatan
Rapscallion
Shifty-eyed
UN-reliable

Words to use to charm a lady:
Fortuitous
Indeed
Impetuous
Inquire

And there are dozens of other words that I’ll be introducing shortly. I’ve told Charlie many times that having these words as part of his vocabulary will be the catalyst to spearheading a veritable conduit to the pinnacle of success in life. Charlie agrees fully, as he always responds with an enthusiastic “Dada!” at the end of my sermon…. which, I’m pretty sure is his word for expressing approval.

7 thoughts on “Teaching A Baby To Talk”

  1. I am impressed that you basically just posted a list of words that you find funny to say or pronounce. Sure, there were some filler paragraphs to round it out, but the bulk was just a list of words.

    I’m surprised there wasn’t a category of words relating to technology at the workplace because I remember a specific summer where you couldn’t go 10 minutes without tangentially referencing “wireless e-business.” But you said it with such enthusiasm, as if taking your e-business wireless wasn’t a no-brainer.

  2. I just stumbled upon your website and boy this is just full of bitty wanter. This article is:

    Tremendous
    Moving
    Extatic

    Other words i like are:
    Gargantuan
    Helacious (surprised this wasnt part of dissatisfaction)
    Juxtoposition (even though i dont know what it means)

    Being a sheriff people have to watch what they say around me. Unfortunate people have spoke these words to me:

    Lawdog
    Synergy
    Fatso

    The sheriff’s in town and aint leaving any time soon.

  3. Your word list is quite impressive, but i’d like to add a few more that Charlie can utilize at any time in his young life:

    asinine
    erroneous
    culmination
    plethora
    lackadaisical
    onomatopoeia (it’s just fun to say)

    You can thank Stan Long for those gems. I wonder if his shirttail is still hanging out of his fly…

  4. I heard that ol’ stan was on hiatus, and somehow talked the school into paying him to take a long leave of absence. i always knew he was a genious. anyhow, i would like to add a few of my favorites to use at work to sound smart and motivated…

    efficient
    proactive
    prosperous
    unequivocal
    dynamic
    precisely

  5. This one’s a bit rusty, but still works well in business settings:
    value-add

    Plus you get to teach Charlie an advanced (and often misused) literary device such as the hyphen.

  6. check out the word “sesquipedalian” — one of my favorite words….it means “using a big word when a shorter word would suffice.” great to throw at people who use fancy words to sound smart…it stumps even the biggest abusers

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