Laser the Prisoner 


My girlfriend’s cat is spiteful. Or so she says. Apparently he knows I set the TV remote on his back but because he can’t stand me he won’t move to get it off. I know that when I’m here he likes to sit between us in order to claim his spot on the couch, or to show me who’s the real man of the cell block. Sometimes we leave him alone for a few days because we’ll stay at my house and leave him a big bowl of food. When we come back he meows for a few minutes to get his bowl filled up again. After feeding him he’s back to sitting around ignoring is. He’s been in the house for 5 straight years, never left. I think of him as an inmate at Rykers doing stretch of time for B and E. He sometimes finds a shank and lashes out at us. As I write this he just bit her on the leg. All he’s missing is a number and a cell mate. I guess if I was trapped in a room for 5 years I’d be spiteful too.

Also published on Medium.

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