Author: The Road Dog

Hipster Slow Cookoff 

During the snow storm last week I decided it was time to try out the new slow cooker my parents had gifted me for Christmas. I figured it was a perfect time to give it a test run. I also thought it was an original idea because who else would trudge through 2 feet of snow to buy cumin, celery and beef? As I searched through the spice section at the local grocer I came across another hipster looking for cumin. Wearing skinny jeans, a gortex North Face jacket, Frye boots, and a black beanie (exactly what I was wearing), he explained to me that his parents bought him a slow cooker for Christmas and he wanted to give it a test run by making chili. About a minute later another hipster walked up, wearing the same outfit asking where the cumin was. Surely I came up with the original idea of #Netflixandchili? Within 3 hours there were 478 ‘Netflixandchili’ hashtags on Instagram. I’m sure my chili was the best though.

Password Drink

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Dave and I spent 30 minutes trying to set WordPress up. All it asked for was my password. Between Facebook, Instagram, Amazon, Hulu, Twitter, American Airlines, United, Delta, Jet Blue, Qantas, Orbitz, Kayak, Bank of America, Chase, Chase Debit, Chase Credit, Chase Business, Amex, Etsy, Seamless, Pandora, Spotify, Yelp, ITunes, Apple ID, PayPal, Uber, Snapchat, Pandora, Venmo, Time Warner, Con Edison, National Grid, Fresh Direct, LinkedIn, Skype, AT&T, Airbnb, Roku, ESPN Watch, HBO Go, And Google, not sure why it took a minute to remember.

And the password hint, your childhood best friends name never works. Then you get locked out. Oy Vey!

I’m A Mexican

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I’ve travelled all around the world and without a doubt I get asked 97% of the time if I’m Mexican or Spanish. I have nothing against Mexicans, but I don’t speak Spanish so it gets tricky when I’m constanly bombarded with Spanish speaking folk. Here’s a recent interaction from my taxi driver on the way to the airport.

Driver: Hey amigo, you speak Spanish.

Me: Nah.

15 minutes go by and I say nothing.

Driver: Where you flying?

Me: Mexico.

I’m not making this up. I was headed to Cancun to play in a festival.

Driver: Ok amigo, enjoy your trip.

Me: Gracias senor.

Hustle Points

I like to keep track of life by keeping mental notes of how many “hustle points” I might get in a day. Allow me to explain myself.

In high school I used to play basketball. Throughout a season the coach and assistants kept track of an individual’s points scored, assists, rebounds, and hustle points. A hustle point meant either you laid out for a ball into the stands, dove onto the ground for a loose ball, or just generally worked your butt off on the court. At the end of the season an awards banquet was held for the team. I remember the first time I was introduced to this concept. Back in 1988, my brother won the hustle award for the season. To say the least, I was impressed. I have never won the hustle award. But I’m still keeping track.

Let’s say I have a rehearsal at 1 pm. I decide to leave 10 minutes earlier due to construction on the trains. As I figured, the subway was all messed up and it took me a little longer than usual. But I showed up right on time. I call that a hustle point.

Even simple planning of routes throughout the city is hustling in my world. Every once in a while the police set up random roadblocks. Usually they’re looking for drunk drivers, but I don’t like talking to cops anytime I don’t have to. One time I saw the trap ahead and quickly turned right so I’d miss the roadblock. Hustling.

Okay I have lost many hustle points in my day. I do admit, one time The Captive Lion called me and said he was ready to play Halo 2. I was unable to because I had forgot to charge my new Logitech wireless headset. That was not hustling.

And without a doubt I know who’s getting hustled right now…you. Unless you stopped reading about 2 paragraphs ago. I’m not really a writer, but I get to pretend. Now that’s hustling.

The Best Xbox Headset For Free Phone Calls

Logitech Xbox Headset

Picture a night of Halo 2 mayhem. Sweat dripping down each brow, eyes glued to the television, constant bantering between players. The end of a round has come. Everyone pauses to communicate. Somebody says, “Wait for me, I’ve got to use the restroom.” Unfortunately in order to speak, you have to be connected to your headset, which is connected to the controller, which is then connected to the Xbox, meaning you have to be in the same room as your battle station. Those days are over my friend. Go get yourself the Logitech wireless xbox headset.

After the round, I walk across my apartment slowly with no intention to rush due to my wireless freedom. I can still hear the action in the kitchen while I crack open a Zywiec (polish beer). It’s a constant portal into the virtual world at all times. As I guzzle my beverage an idea comes upon me.

The next morning I fired up the Xbox and created a party in Halo 2. Then I put on my headset, turned off the television, but kept the Xbox on, and walked around the house doing my morning chores. About an hour or so later, while I was brushing my teeth, I hear Chizzler on the other end. We were able to have a conversation without calling each other, or better yet, knowing when it was about to start.

I suspect in the future, everyone will be wearing headsets and communicating this way. There won’t be phone calls anymore, anytime you want to speak to somebody, you just say “Where you at?” Personally, I can’t wait for the future. You too can join in on the fun. I’m never going back to wired communication.