Celebrity Encounters in NYC

Editor’s Note: This post has nothing to do with babies.

Jack Black. He’s a good guy. I know. I saw him. In person. What a thrill! And I can tell that we share many things in common. As he was standing there behind the big glass window, it was clear that we both have a distaste for dealing with fans in their mid-twenties who stare at celebrities through big glass windows.

Colin Farrell. Also cool. Quieter than you would think. Likes to doodle in a notebook. Can just chill and have a coffee. He can just hang with one other dude too. He doesn’t need a whole entourage. I feel like in that way we are similar as often you’ll find me hanging with just one other person. We both think it’s easier to make decisions in smaller groups rather than larger ones I guess.

Quick fact: Since I’ve been living in Brooklyn, I’ve seen a bunch of famous people.

Regular fact: Most have not known who I am.

Drawn-out fact: The guy from the Office, John Krasinski, waits, sorta just like everyone else, sorta near the line to get in to the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre, but goes in just a hair before everyone else. But, me, going in 20 minutes later, gets to sit right behind him. We both like to swig on a beer while watching improv. We both have similar senses of humor, as judged by paying attention to which parts of the show made us laugh simutaneously. But the biggest thing I noticed is that I think we are both beginning to feel more comfortable in our own skin.

I will tell you this, however. Bobby DeNiro doesn’t just produce or direct the upcoming blockbuster The Good Shepard. He also waits in a trailer and then occasionally get outs, walks right by me, nods, and then proceeds to act in the mother.

But that’s not all. He also enlists an A-list club of actors to support him. I saw Matt Damon chatting with some friends as he made his way to act in the film opposite Robert DeNiro. Matt Damon wrote and starred in my old favorite movie Good Will Hunting so you can imagine the tickle I got when he ignored me and just kept walking by. If you can’t imagine it, it was a rather short but sweet tickle that felt like a dandelion brushing up against my cheek.

Moby and His Tattoo

Moby wasn’t as cool. Apparently everybody and their grandma has seen Moby. I, in fact, thought I might just be seeing a lookalike so I made a mental note of a distinct tattoo he had on the back of his neck. It was a cross. And as you can see from this photo, Moby has a cross of a tattoo on the back of his neck. So it’s an official Moby sighting, Mom! Be proud… for once!

I am a celebrity magnet. I am also a magnet that celebrities seem to be able to pretend doesn’t exist. I am also unable to control said magnetism a la Magneto, so it’s not really anything special or evil.

Ending fact: Someday I hope to have pictures to document some of these things. For now, you will have to believe that I saw guy who is inside the Big Bird costume. And you will have to believe that he was very similar to me in that we both think children are important.

12 thoughts on “Celebrity Encounters in NYC”

  1. Quite impressive, my friend! I myself had a sighting in NYC: Mary-Kate Olsen. I thought nothing of it really; it felt like a glance in the mirror. Good to have you back!

  2. Mary Kate? How could you possibly distinguish them apart? Is one slightly more anorexic?

    Excellent post Lion. Please invest in a camera phone and use the paparazzi move you invoked with Mitch Hedberg and Screech to document these encounters. I’d love for this site to become a very poor man’s Gawker.com.

  3. Mid-twenties? Who are you kidding? I’m jealous of your near-celebrity status. Maybe Krusty and I will come visit after all… the only celeb. sighting I have is some french singer (who I didn’t recognize, but noticed the entourage around him) and Gary Locke (at the Seattle Center, not at the capital… like that makes a difference), but is he really a celebrity?

  4. I’m gearing up to visit the David Blaine “Drowned Alive” spectacular at Lincoln Center this weekend. Expect an update from me after that.

    To all the wellwishers, lookyloos, and rubberneckers, thanks. Might I also point out that you have the best group names ever. Lump me in with you all anytime.

    To Mrs. Krusty… those are pretty pathetic excuses for celebrity sightings. I’d say it’s even a stretch to keep track of ones like that. How about I give you some of mine? You can have Colin Farrell. And Tina Fey. Those are yours. Keep them handy. Put them in your repertoire. But for the love of god quit hyping “some french singer” and Gary Locke (at the Seattle Center). :)

  5. lion i’ll have to say you have the eye. i’ve lived in ny for 6 years, that’s 5 1/2 more years than you, and have yet to see any celebrities (or so i know). on the other hand my girl leigh has seen, sheryl crow, parker posie, 50 cent, that guy from the cingular wireless commercials, sarah jessica parker, drew barrymore, etc. the list goes on and on.

    however i did see adam savage (mythbusters) in the st. louis airport, and i walked right up to jennifer lopez at fred siegel in west hollywood not knowing it was her, just thinking it was a hot chick that i should talk to. as i got closer to her she stared back and me with the “why is this guy walking closer to me look,” only to see her picture in the tabloids the next day. that’s the only reason i knew it was her. oh yeah, i opened for bill cosby in orlando, actually shook his hand and exchanged a few words. that’s the only time i’ve been star struck. can’t wait to see david blaine on sunday with you though.

  6. So big of you to give up two heavy hitters like that to my wife. If you can spare a famous athlete or possibly a has been porn star I would love to take them off you. Nice piece of writing. It’s aabout time you smacked the centaur with the proverbial glove starting a duel that can only end in a pistol fight and broken friendships.

  7. I’ll take Tina Fey and Colin Farrell, if you’re just giving them away willy nilly. I forgot the most important celeb I’ve actually seen: Ryan Styles. Of course, he’s a fixture in B-ham and greets every random tourist in b-ham as part of their tourism program. It’s a little sad that I lived in Southern California for three years and the only semi-sightings have been in Washington. I wish I got out more…

  8. I just saw Holmgren last week driving down 405 in his mercedes. I naturally proceeded to speed and cut people off in order to stalk him on the road.

  9. I talked to Mike. For 15 minutes. Year before the big dance. Put that in your Tivo collection of Extra Insider.

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