As you know, my wife is pregnant. And so far, the baby growing inside of her is simply referred to as Cletus… as in, “Cletus the Fetus.” However, that is about to change. We have an ultrasound appointment today, which will hopefully render the sex, thus allowing us to begin the naming process… also known as, “The Impending Four-Month Argument.”
For starters, here are some names I’ve come up with for a girl:
Warrior Princess: It’s powerful, yet feminine.
Actually, that is the only name I’ve come up with for a girl. Hopefully this is as far as the discussion goes. Of course, I’ve got a whole bunch of names lined up for a boy:
Tundra: Truck names, like “Dakota”, have become popular recently, as they are masculine and rugged. Other options along this line: Titan, Ranger, Silverado, and F-150.
Dude: I figure, if he has friends like mine, this is what he’ll respond to anyway.
Thomas Magnum: The first name “Thomas” is classy. The middle name of “Magnum” adds a touch of “ladies man private investigator” to it. Of course, my son would have to grow one helluva mustache to justify such a name. I would hate to put that kind of pressure on a kid.
Cash Money: Think of what a cocky jackass he would grow up to be with a name like this. It might be worth it though to give him the ability to introduce himself with a line like this: “They call me Cash Money. Allow me to show you why.”
Jack McSex: First name Jack, middle name McSex. I figure, if it’s good enough for my Gamertag, it’s certainly good enough for my first-born.
The Centaur, Jr: I don’t know, it might be confusing around the house if we both had the same name. Also, I want my son to create his own path, and not feel obligated to follow in his father’s footsteps. If he decides on his own to become a giant horse’s ass one day, then I will be truly honored.
And of course, my personal favorite:
Lando Calrissian: He’s known throughout the galaxy as the suavest man in space. I can’t imagine a more perfect name. Truthfully, I’m almost not even joking anymore. I’m actually going to seriously lobby for this one. Of course, my wife hates this name, which means we’ll have to compromise on a name like “Bobba Fett” instead.
Anyway, I’ll update everyone with the results as soon as possible. In the meantime, send me your suggestions! Needless to say, it’s going to be very tough to choose from a list like this.