Author: The Captive Lion

A long time ago I spoke of the daily battle of life. C’mon, you remember. The grueling pursuit to secure a small portion of sanity during our brief stay in this cruel world. You know, the one where our only hope is to shine as bright as possible while the dwindling fuse of the cosmic big bang burns down. Ring any bells yet?

Well the thing is, I forgot to pay tribute in that commentary to the fallen soldiers, our gone but not forgotten comrades. In other words, those whose necks have already been guillotined by the sharp steel blade of time. In that vast sea of corpses, I know of no product or commodity that has seen a worse fate than that of the original Xbox Communicator headset. The number of casualties is astounding, yet profound and inspiring at the same time. But the struggle continues and I know for a fact that right now, as I type this, more death and disfigurement is underway.

Look within yourselves Zillionaires, for now is a moment of reflection, reverence, and respect for the dead and wounded. I present the Xbox Headset Graveyard photo gallery:

The Chizzler’s Headset


War is ugly and this photo proves it. A mixture human hair, skunk fur, muck, and duct tape keep headset together at the moment. I feel half dead just wearing it.

Send me photos of your dead or dying headsets and I’ll add them to this post. Or post an epitaph in the comments. Rest in peace, Xbox Communicators.

A good friend who has a connection at Bungie.net just sent me these audio files. Apparently during the making of Halo 2 they had to scale back on how much audio they could include in the multiplayer game because of bandwidth constraits. Zillionaire got them and we’re gonna leak them on the Internet. No one has ever heard these before.

1. When you’d get a kill, chop up the body and put it in your freezer, you were supposed to have heard:
   
2. When you’re twenty years older than all your opponents and you’d get a kill, you’d hear this:
   
3. When you would throw a sticky grenade on someone’s throat, this should have played:
   
4. For when you crouch-walk around Midship with a sword getting cheap kills, you’d hear:
   
5. The rare grand slam in Halo 2–getting four cold-cocks in a row, taking down an entire enemy team, you’d hear this during the melee:
   

It’s a shame these didn’t make it into the game. We encourage you to use them online now in either training mode or ranked combat.

Have you heard of any other leaked sayings for Halo 2? If so, leave them in the comments.